Opposite Ends of the Spectrum

As many of you may know, I deliver pizza as a second job. You can learn a lot about people by delivering them pizza.

• Some people answer the door while on the phone, never look you in the eye, say not one word, hand you the money, take the pizza, and close the door.
• A LOT of people don't turn their porch light on, then when they realize that they haven't they apologize.
• Most people don't seem to realize that if I stand there for 5 minutes waiting for them to find their money that they just A) potentially made someone else's pizza late and B) cost me money.
• Alert to customers: I usually don't carry change for $100...sorry. Especially when your order is $11.45.
• Teenagers don't tip. In fact, they usually want the exact change. To the penny.
• 1 out of 10 houses either have A) mailbox numbers you can't read, B) mailboxes with missing numbers, or C) have NO mailbox at all...and this fact does not seem noteworthy to people when they place their order.

So last night I had a couple of interesting experiences:

First:
I delivered a medium pizza to a woman. Her total was $14.30. When she opened the door, she handed me the coupon she had used, a $20 bill, and said "keep the change". Think about that for a second. She went through the trouble to use a coupon to lower the price a couple of bucks, and STILL gave me the entire twenty. Very thoughtful.

Second:
I was trying to deliver a pizza to a lady who lives in a particularly difficult apartment complex to deliver to. (I won't bore you with why it is difficult.) The instructions on the ticket said, "TELL DELIVERY DRIVER TO CALL WHEN HE ARRIVES." So I did...about 5 times. I then called the Hut, and asked them to call her.

She immediately answered and told the person them, "Oh...I saw his calls coming in, but I didn't recognize the number."

What? She must have thought every delivery driver was issued a special "Pizza Hut Cell Phone", so when we call customers it shows Pizza Hut on the caller ID. Sheesh!

A Fantastic Update!!

For those of you that follow my little blog here, you may have read a couple of my previous posts (#1 and #2) about my sister. If you haven't, you might want to take a second and read them. Either way, feel free to join in my joy and read on:

From my sister:

Today is the day!!! Just call me "Remission Girl"!!!!

I had a CAT scan last Monday and today Neal & I went to see Dr. Pant. She said there was no sign of cancer--just scar tissue from the fluid. I have finished my Keemo and I'm now in remission. It's official and everything! I will go see her every 2 months and have a CAT scan every 4 months for the next 2 years. That's it. She said I should get back to my regular life...oh and lose the 15 pounds I gained from the steroids and ice cream! I was never sick and the only other side effect was the pain in my hands and feet that she said will go away with time.

I feel great. My hair is growing back. I think it will be mostly salt with a little pepper or maybe cinnamon. :) I was hoping for red curls! Either will be fine by me--although I believe I will keep the do-rags... May come in handy on the occasional bad hair day!

SO---all is well. Thank you all for your love and support. Prayers have been answered. I am blessed and I thank God every morning. I have learned alot about myself. This has truly been a life journey....and it's not over yet!

And thanks from me to all of you for your prayers, thoughts and concerns.

My Crazy Friend Steve

My life-long best friend is named Steven. Today he turned 40.

My earliest memory of Steven is going to his 5th birthday party. His dad was always something of a technophile, so he always had gadgets and gizmos around. At the birthday party we played Pong. The original Pong. It was awesome!!!

When I was eight, one of those wonderful things that only happens once in a lifetime happened. We moved to our new house...5 houses down from Steven! We had lots of fun times together living that close. When we were 12, his parents divorced and he moved with him mother into town, but we still saw each other all the time.

So, I thought I would just share a few thoughts, memories, and anecdotes about my best friend.

• Steven once tried to throw his watch across our pond. I don't remember how we got to the point where we were arguing about whether or not he could do it...but somehow we arrived there. It didn't make it.
  
• Steven and I were each other's best man in our weddings.
• Steven's dad had a TRS-80 Model I computer. We spent HOURS programming and playing on it. I probably have Steven to thank for my job I have right now. Thanks, Steven.
  
• Steven is possibly the smartest person I have ever met. He's an orthopaedic surgeon now, by the way. Most people in school didn't get him. He was just too smart for them.
• When we were about 9 Steven got glasses. That day he came over to my house and lost them.
• We both liked comic books, ninjas, and computers as kids. Not necessarily in that order.
• Steven failed band in 6th grade. He played the tuba...just not very well.
  
• Steven is very good at chess. I could hardly ever beat him...except the one time we played in a tournament!
  
• He drove a blue station wagon as his first car that had a bumper sticker that said, "If my car was a horse, I'd have to shoot it."
• He reminds me a little of Steve Martin...but funnier.
• He had a go-cart as a kid. One time he cranked it and it got away from him and ran into his neighbor's house: Mrs. Fuller. Mrs. Fuller was German and she came out and yelled at him that he had "hit her house with his go-thing!"nin her German accent.
  
• He's 6' 5" tall. Because of growing up with him, unless you're taller than that, you don't seem tall to me.
• Once, on a Science Club trip, we were staying at some condos in Houston. One of the things that we could do while hanging out at the condos during the day was check out bicycles, big over-size tricycles, and tandem bicycles. Steven got on one of the big bicycles...it was an old school Pee-Wee Herman style. I was standing down by the river that the condos were built near, and I saw Steven come out between a couple of buildings heading down the hill. About half way down, his feet slipped off the pedals and he couldn't stop. As I watched he hit the top of the retaining wall that was at the edge of the river, flew over the handlebars and disappeared into the river. Three seconds later he popped up saying, "I'm okay!" The river was very low and there was just soft dirt below the retaining wall, no water. This paragraph just doesn't do it justice...it is still the funniest thing I have ever seen.
  
• When, as a teenager, I would start to do something stupid, he would always say, "For the record, I am not condoning or encouraging this..."
• When I accidentally snitched on one of my other good friends in high school, I was pretty much ostracized by my entire class until everyone found out it was an accident. Steven was the only person that stuck by me the entire time.

Happy Birthday, Steven!

(P.S. In college I was in a band. After practice we would often sitting around shooting the breeze, and inevitably I would end up telling some story about me and Steven. My friends from the band still refer to them as my "crazy friend Steve" stories...hence the name of this post.)

"Reality" TV

I'll admit I like American Idol. I like singing. I like music. It's interesting.

However, this past week, I didn't like it. The teaser commercials had Ryan Seacrest saying, "Tonight, one audition turns serious..." and a clip of Simon saying, "That was a threat." Then a quick shot of Paula, "You don't say that to people..."

I expected, when we finally got that part of the show, to hear someone say something to Simon. I know lots of people have wanted to. Something like, "Meet me outside after the auditions and I'll show you who's got talent," in a menacing voice, or something like that.

Instead, what we had was a country boy saying, "Take care and...be careful." Just kind of mumbling in embarrassment as he left.

Be careful.

Those were the words that Simon took as a threat. Obviously the differences between the British and the U.S. South is greater than I thought.

A large portion of my family says that EVERY TIME someone leaves. It's the southern equivalent of "Take care".

I don't blame Simon (and the rest of the judges) for not being up on Southern colloquialisms. But what bugs me to no end, is the way they spun it. Come on! Isn't the "reality" of reality TV not manipulated enough already?

Argghh!

(BTW - my sister sent me a message via Facebook. She actually said the same things and said them much better than I did.)

Some Things I've Learned

I'm approaching my 40th, and there are a few things I've learned over the years:


1) When something says "one size fits all", it is sometimes false.

2) If your dad is carrying some 20' long pieces of steel rebar and tells you to back up, you really should.

3) If you turn off a 5 hp water pump by flipping a kill switch with your bare hand, while standing ankle deep in water, it will hurt...bad.

4) If you ever have to change your clothes in a car, don't try to jump out and pull your pants up at the same time...it usually won't go well.

5) In elementary school, don't ever make fun of another kid's name if your name starts with "but".

6) Don't try to throw a watch across a pond.

Two Arguments for the Home Theater

Firstly:

The other day, my wife and I went to a movie. Tickets at that time, at that theater, were $6.50 a piece. This was before you could pay with a debit/credit card, so we made sure we had cash with us: $20.

After purchasing our tickets, we made our way to the concession stand with our $7 remaining in hand. After perusing the menu for a few moments, we made our decision.

"I'll have a large Coke, a small popcorn, and nachos."

The concession stand person got our snacks together, set it all on the counter and said, "That will be $8, please."

"$8?" I asked, rechecking the menu...

Large drink: $3
Small popcorn: $2
Nacho chips: $2
Total: $7

I explained this to the concession stand person, pointing to each item in turn. They nodded as I pointed to each item, and then pointed to the last item on the list and said:

"And a dollar for the cheese. See, right there. Nacho cheese $1."

So it turns out, nacho CHIPS were $2. Nacho CHEESE was a $1. Put it together, and you get $3 "nachos".

"Have you ever had anyone order just plain "nacho chips" with no cheese?"

"No," they admitted. "Not so far."


Secondly:

Another time, before the movie began, a young man in a purple blazer came down to the front of the theater and asked people to please step out with crying babies, and to make sure that all cell phone ringers were set to silent.

"Cool," I said to myself. Maybe we won't have a bunch of distractions.

About 20 minutes into the movie, a baby started crying a few rows in front of us. After a few moments, the lady got up and started up the aisle.

"Great," I thought, "very considerate of her."

Then the lady got to the top of the aisle, stopped, and watched the rest of the movie from there with her crying baby. Of course he only cried about, give or take, 37% of the time.

At about the halfway mark through the movie in a very quiet section I heard, "Hello...I'm watching a movie...the Hulk...it's okay...yeah...yeah...alright...uh huh...about another hour...okay...talk to you later."

At least he had his ringer off...

Save the Planet!! (It's where I keep all my stuff.)

I've decided to go purple...or any other color...just not green. Overuse of the word "Green" as a catch-phrase for everything environmentally friendly is now to the point of driving me crazy!

While you are at it, let's throw the terms "eco-friendly", "renewable resource", "hybrid", "alternative fuels", and my favorite, "low carbon footprint" into the same category.

Don't get me wrong, I love the environment. I live in it everyday. It grows my food and feeds the cows that become my cheeseburgers. I want the environment to be healthy. We have reusable grocery sacks.

I guess I am just a little tired of all the ecovangelists.

Trivial Trivia

While I was born in the 60's (just barely), having graduated from high school in '87 I'm a child of the 80's. Tonight we went to a local restaurant, ate dinner, and played some trivia. The final bonus question was right up my alley.

Name the band that recorded these 80's hair band songs:

We're Not Gonna Take It
Rock You Like A Hurricane
Cherry Pie
18 and Life
Unskinny Bop
Once Bitten, Twice Shy
Girls, Girls, Girls
Round and Round
When the Children Cry
Love Bites

We only missed one (I said it, but everyone said they didn't hear me say the answer). How many can YOU get without looking them up?

Hey, Mr. Red Light!

If you are easily offended and choose to read this post anyway, I apologize now. I just thought it was just too funny not to share.

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Nathanael, my 2 1/2 year-old son is potty training. We are at the "Momma/Daddy, I needa go potty now!" phase. Not only is he potty-training, he is also learning (since he is a boy, after all) how to stand and use the restroom.

Unrelatedly (or at least I originally thought so), we sometimes play a game in the car. When we are stopped at a red light, he and I will say together, "Hey, Mr. Red Light, turn green now!" We'll do this a couple of times until the light finally turns green. Nathanael thinks it's a lot of fun.

Well, today my wife informed me that while attempting to stand and use the restroom, this is what my son said:

"Hey, Mr. Penis, go pee now!"

I was laughing so hard I forgot to ask if it worked...

Impossible? Maybe...maybe not!

I'm re-re-re-reading a favorite old book of mine. After reading it several times over the years, something just jumped out at me last night.

In the story, a commander has just force marched his army for miles and miles to meet the enemy. When they finally finished the march, one of the commander's friends said to him that when they had started, he thought the march would be impossible.

"Why didn't you say something before we started?" the commander asked.

"Ahh, my friend, everything that is not attempted is impossible," his friend replied.

It got me thinking. How many things in our life are impossible simply because we don't attempt them? What impossible thing could I do if I just attempted it?

Get in shape?

Live out of debt?

Raise sane kids in a crazy world?

Jack Bauer's Not That Bright

So, the new season of 24 has started. Jack's back. He's at it again. I've decided though, that for a smart guy, he's not that bright.

After 7 seasons of disaster averting, bomb disarming, terrorist defeating, and death defying, you would think that he would figure out that at 5 minutes before the hour, he should just hide in a closet.

If you've seen 24, you know what I mean.

If I was Jack, I would get a watch with an alarm, and set it to go off at 10 minutes till the hour, every hour. When it went off, I would run away. I certainly wouldn't schedule a sensitive prisoner transfer right on the hour. Want to stage a coup? Let's NOT do it at 5:00. How about 5:23? That sounds better.

Come on, Jack, think!

Some Good Eatin'

My wife is a great cook. Obviously, my mom is too. My in-laws are not too shabby, either. There's lots of good cooks in my family. I can't hold a candle to any of them. I mean, hey, I've messed up macaroni and cheese (but that's another story).

But there's one thing I can cook: chili. I make a mean chili. I've actually won 3 chili cook-offs!! (Of course, two where at church and one at work, but still...)

The recipe started life as my Aunt Audeen's Winter Chili recipe. I took that wonderful base and morphed it into a work of art. The only drawback is that it makes a LOT. A whole lot. For me, that's not a problem. I have a big 8-quart cooker that I use. You can try to half the recipe, but I say just go buy a big cooker. You'll want lots of it!

Below is the recipe. Pretty simple to make. Mostly just chopping vegetables and opening cans. The secret is in the spices. Start with what is listed below, and then just season it how you like.

Another thing is to cook it two to three hours, but not much more. If you cook it too long, it kind of wimps out. Less than that, and everything doesn't flavor up like it should.

Last thing: eat it with a dab of cheese, sour cream if you're into that kind of thing, and some high quality tortilla chips.

Let me know if you liked it.

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2 tbs vegetable oil
4 lbs ground beef
4 bell peppers (different colors)
1 large onion
2 large cans crushed tomatoes
2 small cans tomato paste
2 cans ranch style beans
2 cans black beans
2 cans whole kernel corn
2 cans ranch style beans w/jalapeno
2 cloves garlic
3 tsp black pepper
4 tsp chili powder
3 tsp cayenne pepper
5 tsp seasoned salt
2 tsp cumin

Brown the meat. Chop up all the vegetables and lightly sauté them. Open the cans. Do not drain. Throw everything into a giant cooker and stir. You may need to add 1 – 2 cups of water, depending on how wet your canned vegetables are - just make sure that it is wet when you start cooking. Make sure you don't have any tomato paste globs. Cook for approximately 2 hours on medium heat.

Visitors from the East

This weekend, my nephew Travis and his wife April stopped by on their way from Texas back to North Carolina. He's a U.S. Marine, and will be shortly shipping out for his second tour in Iraq. They arrived Friday night and left Sunday morning, so we basically had Saturday to spend together.

There are a lot of things to do in the Atlanta area. It's rich in history and quite metropolitan in culture. Plus, the countryside itself is beautiful But we decided to have a low pressure, low cost, no agenda day. Here's what we did.

We started out with pancakes with blueberry syrup and bacon. Yum!! After our late breakfast we loaded up in the family truckster and took a short driving tour of the area we live in. I showed them where I work, our cool downtown area, etc.

We drove down Mt. Paran Road, which winds through the north part of Atlanta, and has some of the most beautiful homes in the area.

After our home tour, we headed to the Varsity. The Varsity is the world's largest drive-in restaurant. It's right across from the campus of Georgia Tech. On game days, they serve 30,000+ people. That wasn't a typo. You read it right: 30,000. It's been around since 1928, and can service 600 cars and 800 people dining in at the same time.

We had some "strings", "rings" (the best onion rings I've ever eaten, BTW), and some other things I can't remember the slang for, all served by our car hop that had been an employee for 34 years.

When we finished up there we headed over to IKEA. A pretty cool store, I must say, even to someone like me that doesn't like to shop.

After that we did a little more general site seeing and then stopped by the house for a few minutes. We played around on our laptops, played a little Xbox 360 and rested. Then we went to my Pizza Hut (I don't own it, I just work at it) and had breadsticks and a large pan Meatlover.

After stuffing ourselves, we came back to the house, relaxed, watched some TV, played around on our laptops, had some ice cream, and just enjoyed each others company.

It was the first time in years I had really had a chance to hang out with my nephew and the first time I had ever gotten to hang out with my niece-in-law for any length of time.

What did I learn? I like them. I enjoyed spending time with them.

It's always nice when you like the people you are supposed to love.

It was definitely a good day.

Napping In

Most everyone is familiar with "sleeping in". We've all done it. Whether it's because we had a late night or just because we can. Either way, sometimes staying in bed for a few more minutes (hours) can be nice.

Also, on a lazy Sunday afternoon, it's nice to curl up under a blanket in front of an old movie and just doze on and off. I think napping must be good for the soul.

Well, I'd like to suggest a merging of these two wonderful things.

I personally enjoy "napping in". I tend to wake up early, even when I don't necessarily have to. So what I do is get up...move to my recliner...and nap. That's it. Sometimes I'll grab a glass of tea, a slice of cold pizza, or a piece of string cheese on the way to my recliner.

It's a perfect opportunity to put on a movie that you feel like you should watch, but don't really care if you ever do. Pretty much anything on TV will work. Infomercials are also great for this.

Let's all try it this Saturday, okay? Let me know how it goes for you.

Bon Appetit

My mom is a great cook (BTW, so are my wife, my in-laws, and most of my family in general). In fact she's a CHAMPION cook. That's right. She's won c0mpetitions. I'm very proud of her. So, I thought I'd write a quick note and brag on her.

The picture attached to this post is one of the walls of her bedroom with SOME of her plaques, ribbons, and trophies.

Way to go, Mom!! You rock! Now...what's for dinner?