A Promised Post

I promised a couple of weeks ago that I would post some more of the things that were shared at my sister's funeral. Don't worry! This isn't going to be a "downer". Hopefully the words will encourage you.

The following are excerpts from what my sister's friend Nancy shared.

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Life is about two things: relationships and memories.

Relationships:

• Teresa was the master craftsman of relationships & handy as a shirt pocket!
• She never met a stranger. At F.O.R. (Friends of the River), Teresa was the "meeter & greeter". For example, she would walk in to our breakfasts, look around and head directly to the new faces. She had the ability to make everyone feel special.
  
• In order to get to know someone, you have to spend time with them - Teresa loved people - All people and she loved spending time with them. She transcended circles and was comfortable with folks from all walks of life.
• You always knew exactly where you stood with her, because she would tell you!
• With her big smile, bright eyes and bubbly spirit, she would light up a room and make you feel right at home.

Memories:

• We met Teresa and Neal when Vanessa brought them to one of the F.O.R. Organizing Committee meetings in early 2006. She was a handpicked "worker-bee". Teresa had a passion for the river and was F.O.R.'s most devoted volunteer with her "can-do" positive attitude. Teresa was "Friends of the River".
• Travis (Teresa's son) purchased a new car on-line from Iraq and it was delivered to Teresa and Neal's house. Teresa drove it at least once a week to keep the battery charged. We typically rode together to yoga and one Tuesday she picked me up in Travis' car... This car is a HOT, good-looking car, a real "Man's Machine" ---RUMMMMM, RUMMMM! I jumped in and away we went...it felt like we were really moving and she looked at me and said, "and we're only going 35!" We laughed! Well, we pulled up for class and our yoga teacher ran out of the building because she heard the RUMMMM, RUMMMM. Teresa said, "Hop in, let's go for a ride" and away we went. We headed down 521 and you would have thought we were teenagers..."young and dumb" all over again. We laughed till our sides hurt with tears streaming down our faces! What a great memory!
• Teresa would occasionally call me when we were both driving to work and she would always start the conversation singing one of her songs; depending on the day it was either "Marvelous Monday", "Terrific Tuesday"...or her "Fabulous Friday" song.
• Every morning she prayed for Travis' safety, peace for F.O.R., and for her family. Among other things, she asked God to help her be a blessing to someone that day.
• Teresa was the ultimate peace-maker. she tried to make everything okay!
• We've lost a mother, wife, daughter, sister and friend, but we've gained a guardian angel.

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Here's a link to a nice tribute that F.O.R. did for Teresa.

Well, now that you've read what others had to say about my sister, maybe next time I'll share my thoughts.

My Sister

Most of you know that my sister Teresa was diagnosed with lung cancer about a year and a half ago. In fact, I posted several updates on my blog about her status, including some letters from her.

After her first round of chemo, things looked pretty good, and it seemed that she might have beaten the odds. Sadly, the cancer came back with a vengeance, and on December 20th, she passed away quietly in the early hours of the morning with her loved ones by her side.

She was much loved by everyone who knew her. My mom asked if I wanted to speak at the

funeral, but I knew that I couldn't do it. It turns out, I didn't need to. Two of her friends shared their reflections on Teresa and her life. They did a fantastic job. I couldn't have added one thing.

Below is what the owner of the company that she worked at for 15+ years had to say. I'll try to post the other one in the future. If you have a couple of minutes, whether you knew Teresa or not, read the transcript below and get just a glimpse of who my wonderful sister was.

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My name is Anthony Alexander and if I were to be introduced to you by Teresa, she would introduce me as her Boss. But if you ever spent any time at my office you would quickly figure out that Teresa was really the Boss at Brazos Fasteners. The rest of us just got out of the way and did what we were told.

When Susan called the other day and told me that the family wanted someone from the office to speak here to today my immediate response was NO WAY. You see I am the guy who can't make it through an episode of Biggest Loser without crying. But then I got to thinking about what Teresa would do if I were asked to speak at someone else's funeral. I would walk into my office like I have done for the past 17 years and say Teresa I need your help and like million times before she would stop what she was doing and immediately come to my rescue. She would pull up a chair to my desk and Say in her Teresa way “Here I am boss what can do to help?” I would explain what I needed and she would, without even a breath of thought, convince me that I could do it, and she would help me make it be the best speech ever. We would spend the next however long helping me write the perfect words on paper all the while she would be convincing me that I would be able to get up and deliver those words like the most eloquent orator of all Time! And when it came time to deliver she would be while standing in the back

of the audience gleaming with pride and cheering every me on with her smile.

When Teresa and I first meet I was a Skinny little 19yr old kid with a wife and and kid, scared out of my mind as to how I was going to make ends meet. After 17yrs with her by my side giving me every ounce of energy she could give. She helped create a thriving business, not to mention put a little weight on me. I would like to share with you a piece of Teresa through my eyes. You see, Teresa’s desk and mine were about five feet apart so as you can imagine I got to see a lot.

The one thing that I saw everyday from Teresa and the one thing that stood out the most was LOVE. No one I have ever met in my life knew how to Love more than Teresa. And to be honest, it scared me to death. I am much more reserved when it comes to all of the lovey-dovey stuff and when this fireball from Sweeny Texas came into my life, boy was I in for a real live roller coaster ride. I watched her love every customer, every vendor, every employee, the mailman, the ups man, and she not only genuinely loved them, she Hugged Them TOO!!! And it did not take her long to start huggin me! That took me a long time to get used to. But when

I got used to all the ickyness of huggin, I realized that is what made her so special. When you hugged Teresa it was like no other. She had a way of holding on just long enough, where you could almost feel her heart.

The four people that I enjoyed watching her hug the most were her son Travis and my three children. Every time the four of them came into our office I watched Teresa wrap them up in her octopus arms and deposit a little piece of her heart into their soul.

Teresa is going to be missed . We will never be able to replace her, nor would we begin to try. But she will always be with us. Take it from me, I have a lot of experience, if you were one of the lucky people that got to experience a “Teresa Hug” then she left a piece of her inside of you!

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Thanks for everyone's kind words and continued prayer for my family.

Would You Believe $1?

So we had a huge, gi-normous church-wide garage sale on Saturday. When I say there was a LOT of stuff, it is only because I am at loss of how to really describe it adequately. You know the old saying, "Everything but the kitchen sink?"...we had TWO sinks. It was awesome.

One of my goals was that at 2:00ish, when it was officially over, was to be down to a small enough amount of stuff that it could be taken in one trip to Goodwill. And, I am happy to say, we did it! If you were there all day (which some were), you would have heard the "language" of the event change as the day progressed. I've created a timeline below for your reading enjoyment.

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7:30 AM - "We officially start at 8:00, so we'll still be bringing some great stuff out for the next little bit, ma'm."

9:00 AM - "Anything in particular you are looking for?"

11:00 AM - "Are you interested in that? We'll make you a great deal..."

1:00 PM - "Just make us an offer, we'd love for you to have it..."

1:30 PM - "Everything must go! Everything must go!"

2:00 PM - "Take a box, fill it up. Anything you can fit in that box is yours for $1."

2:15 PM - "Take a box, fill it up. It's yours. Make a donation if you would like."

2:25 PM - "Ma'm, I'll move the orange cones so you can pull you car over here by this table and I will put everything on it in your trunk."

2:40 PM - "How much, you ask? Tell you what...how about $2...unless you load it yourself, then its free."

2:55 PM - "You can take any item you'd like, as long as you also take a couple that you don't."

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We had a great time, raised some money, and made some new friends. It was a lot of work..and fun!

Back to School Bash

Today my church hosted a "Back to School Bash". We had free hot dogs, popcorn, cotton candy, snowcones, and drinks. There were not 1, not 2, but 3 bouncy-house-thingys for the kids. There was face painting (that was incredible, I might add) and carnival games for the kids. And let's not forget the live music from the Easy Pieces, Sheri Carr and Diane Thiel (and friends). To top it off we had a prayer booth and a dunking booth. I'll let you guess which one got the most traffic.

Zaxby's donated sweet tea and free kid's meal coupons, as well promoted the event with a special coupon good during the event. The Zaxby's chicken, "LZ", was out shaking hands with the kids and hanging out. They even put the event on their Facebook page!

Our next-door neighbors, All Star Pizza Co. also chipped in, letting us store our ice in their coolers , as well supplying some wonderful baked ziti and rolls.

But the main thrust of the afternoon was to give away backpacks with school supplies for local children. That's where Cheryl and I worked, and it was great fun. I don't know how many backpacks we had to start, but we gave them ALL away. Everyone was very excited and appreciative to receive them.

We didn't solve world hunger today, or end war, but we blessed our community, offered hope to some people that might not have had it, and possibly eased the financial burden on some families going through some tough times.

Over all, I'd say that's a good day.

A special "shout out" and "mad props" to Ali, Skye, and Elizabeth for helping take care of Nathanael (and to anybody else that chased him down). It gave me and Cheryl a chance to do something we both love: serving together. Thanks!

Labels? Schmabels!

Just to clarify, this is not the same post my good friend Jeff wrote entitled "Label Schmabel". I mean, it's obviously not exactly the same. My title is plural and has punctation. You ought to take a few minutes and read his when you have a chance.

My thoughts aren't crystal clear on this subject yet, but I thought writing about it might help. So, here goes.

If you've ever watched The Breakfast Club, a movie about a group of high school kids that spend a day in Saturday detention, you know it deals with stereotypes. At the start of the movie, their judgemental supervising teacher gives them an assignment to write an essay about who they think they are. At the end of the movie, you hear the essay read as a voice over.

Dear Mr. Vernon,

We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. But we think you're crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us...

In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain...

...and an athlete...
...and a basket case...
...a princess...
...and a criminal...

Does that answer your question?

Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Club.

Very interesting, huh? Like Mr. Vernon in the movie, we all, in general, define people by the "groups" that they belong to. A few examples immediately come to mind:

teacher
Texan
musician
liberal
adult
environmentalist
biker
geek
Christian
professional
father

Whether it is because of a person's profession, gender, political leaning, age, or socioeconomic class, we all tend to view people through those stereotypes/labels/paradigms. But, also like in the movie, the reality is that no one is only one of those things, or a perfect representation of any particular group.

You might ask, "Aaron, if a movie from the 80's has already explored all this, why are you re-hashing it?"

I might answer, "I don't know." But I won't. Instead I'll answer by saying that the thing I wanted to remind myself (and you, if you are reading this) is that when we let labels define people, we ascribe faults and strengths to people that they may or may not have. I have one friend who always says (only half-jokingly) that anybody with dreadlocks smokes dope.

When I met my wife in college, I volunteered to tutor her in trigonometry. I'm a big guy, and in college I was in (much) better shape. My (future) wife's response internally to my offer was, "How can he tutor me in trig? He's just a big dumb jock."

You know what they say...don't judge a book by its cover. (But you may not know what I say...don't judge a book by its movie. )

Though I may have looked it, I, of course, am not a big dumb jock.

What do you think people might assume about you? Who do you tend to "pre-judge"? It's worth thinking about.

There you have it...told you I didn't have my thoughts organized very well on this.

Wrecked and Abandoned

While in college, I was in a hip, cool, froody band called Reckless Abandon. That's right...Reckless Abandon. We were a Christian rock band, desperately hanging onto the end of the glam rock days, still sporting our mullets and convincing ourselves that our mullets, and ourselves were cool.

As I mentioned, we played Christian music (actually, I said we were a Christian rock band, but that is what that usually means to most people), so not only did we have a name that to us signified something spiritual and meaningful (that's another post), but we ALSO had a band Bible verse. Kind of our signature scripture if you will.

It was Matthew chapter 16, verse 24:

Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me."

It's a good verse. I like it. We all did. So much so, that our band logo consisted of our name (Reckless Abandon), with a little "Matthew 16:24" underneath it.

We actually played the area around our college quite a bit, and ended up getting some t-shirts made. Of course, being in college, and musicians, we had no money. So we got some guy who owed a favor to somebody's uncle's cousin's sister-in-law and just happened to have a t-shirt business on the side to print them for us.

And he did. And we were pumped! White lettering on black t-shirts. They were cool. There was our name "Reckless Abandon"...and there was our band verse: Matthew 16:20. Awesome!

Then someone noticed something... Wait a minute...it says Matthew 16:20! It was supposed to be Matthew 16:24! What's Matthew 16:20 say?

Then he warned his disciples not to tell anyone that he was the Christ.

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True story.

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Feeling brave?

The Will of God (aka: What's for dinner?)

My friend Jeff just put up a new post today. It deals, in part, with his need to redefine his "calling" outside of the traditional church setting.

His blog got me to thinking, and I started to comment, but as I started typing, I realized I had too much to say and I should really just blog it.

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Over the last couple of years, the Lord has been revealing to me that "doing the will of God" is quite often a small, or seemingly (to us) random thing. Sometimes we only seek His will for things like: Who do I marry? Do I take this job?

But if you look at the life of Jesus, you see it is made up of equal parts big and small events. Of course, he had a HUGE calling and destiny (to die for the sins of the world, etc.), but if you look at his life moment by moment, it's like this:

Jesus went here. Then he traveled there. Then he talked to this guy. Then he talked to that gal. Then he prayed. Then he went in a boat.

Even when the crowds were following him and he was performing miracles, afterwards when he pulled away with just the disciples, some of the most powerful words he spoke were spoken in that intimate setting.

One of my favorite scriptures is Romans 12:2-

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

That scripture has always blown my mind -- you mean we can "test and approve what God's will is"?  Wow.  But it starts with renewing your mind.

I've heard lots of people talk about "renewing your mind", and they are normally referring to keeping out the "bad stuff".  I agree with that - garbage in, garbage out.  But sometimes, I think some of our religious mindsets have to be renewed as well.

Sometimes people only put the "will of God" in a mystical, gigantic, major decision category.  But I think that God's will should effect everything in our lives.  We are all in "full time ministry", if you know what I mean.

Should I become a missionary?  Big decision, and certainly  part of determining God's will for my life.

Should I talk to my co-worker that's having a hard day?  Doesn't seem like that big of a decision...probably not going to change MY life.  But it could possibly change theirs.

I joking alternately titled this blog "What's for dinner?" That's a tongue in cheek way of saying if we only try to bring God into the BIG decisions, the MONUMENTAL decisions, I think we limit what God can do through us.

Praying about what shirt to wear today? Probably overkill. Asking for direction about who might need a phone call this week? Why not?

This Moment In History

Last month, my pastor asked if I would speak on an upcoming Sunday morning while he was gone to India.  Today is that Sunday, and I was honored to speak to our congregation this morning.  

I just wanted to say thanks to everyone for all the encouraging words afterwards.

For those of you that are part of the congregation and may be reading this via my blog or Facebook (you know, you can link your blog into Facebook...that's cool...that's one of the reason's I switched), I would like to give a few "thank you"s by name.

Thanks to Kent and Ren for some especially encouraging words afterwords.  Thanks to Becky for jumping up and joining me in prayer with a family that was having a particularly hard time.  Thanks to Kristen, Chris, and Henry for the setup/technical assistance.

I know to most of it wasn't a "milestone service" or anything like, but to me, it was a special occasion because it was the first time I had gotten to share with my "Georgia family".

Love you all!

And Now for Something Completely Different...

(This is my contribution to a syncro-blog started by RobbyMac.)

It was the summer after my freshman year in college. That first year in college, I, like many freshmen, "got a little wild". But back home after the school year, I really began to try to figure out the whole "God" thing. I knew God existed, but didn't really have much of a grid of how to relate to Him.

So that summer I started attending my hometown Methodist Church. I joined the choir, and went every Sunday. Right at the end of summer, I was sitting in the choir loft off to the side looking out over the congregation, just watching the people as the pastor gave his sermon.

There were probably 75 people there. Near the front were the gray hair and bald heads crowd, half of which were nodding off. In the middle, there were a few middle aged couples. On the back couple of rows were the teenagers, mostly passing notes (this is before texting existed) and talking. Pretty much no one was paying any attention to what was being said.

As I sat there, I thought to myself, "God...if this is it...if this is what being a Christian is...I'm just wasting my time. I could have been working this morning and making some money."

Now, I did not hear the audible voice of God (which I always picture sounding like Charlton Heston), but deep in my heart, I heard a "No!". As in, "No, this is not all there is."

I left there thinking, "Okay, if this isn't all there is, that means there's something different. What is it?"

A few weeks later, school started back and I went back to my college town. This year, though, there were a couple of new freshmen. Actually, there were lots of new freshmen, but three in particular stood out. They were all friends from before college, but they welcomed me into their circle, and I started hanging out with them around school. I was a music major, so we spent lots of time together in the band hall, etc.

They seemed a little "different" to me. They didn't laugh at my vulgar jokes, but at the same time, they didn't berate me either. Apparently none of the drank either. Weird. A month or so into school, one of them, Mike, asked me to go to church with him on a Wednesday night. To his surprise, I said yes. So that night we went to Christ Is Life Church.

Hold on!! Something's different here. These people actually seem excited to be at church. Now that's just weird!

They played upbeat songs. They clapped and sang...some people even kinda danced a little jig. Near the end of the service, the pastor had everyone stand and asked everyone to raise their hands and pray with him. So I did. I wasn't religious enough to know I wasn't supposed to do that. During that Wednesdy night service, and specifically that prayer, God really began to change my heart. That was the moment that I saw there could be something different.

Since this is a syncro-blog, I won't go any further with my story, but this was definitely my first "charismatic" moment.

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Okay, I lied. Sorry. I am going to continue on with my story. Just one more thing.

A few months later, after I had jumped into spiritual life feet first, Mike and I were talking about something related to God or the Bible, and he said to me, "If someone had told me 3 months ago that we would be sitting here having this conversation, I never would have believed them. I was shocked when you went to church with me the first time and shocked when you went to that Carmen concert. On the outside, you didn't look interested at all."

I often use this story to encourage myself whenever I try to talk myself out of sharing with someone because "they wouldn't be interested", or "they aren't really ready to hear this."

As if I know what someone else's heart is ready to hear.

Big Announcement Today!

Well, today I was officially asked by my pastor to speak on Sunday, September 28th, while he is away in India. That's an incredible honor, and something I take very seriously.

It's funny. I've spoken in public, both in and out of the pulpit, more times than I can count. But there's something about a Sunday morning service that always really makes me do a gut check. I have this tremendous sense of responsibility.

I've pretty much gotten past the feelings of needing to impress anyone with my latest "heavy revvie" (that's "heavy revelation", a slang term for "deep theology" I use sometimes), my elocution, vocabulary, or my wit and humor. Now it really comes down to me not wanting to waste A) everyone's time, and B) the opportunity that God has given me. Here are "X" number of people, and I have about an hour to share something with them that hopefully will impact them in a positive way.

And when I speak to a new group, I always go through this process. First I think, "I'll pull out something I've taught in the past that seemed very effective/relevant (ie. popular)!" Kind of a "hit them with my best punch" idea. This usually lasts for about 2 minutes.

Then I think, "But wait, that'll probably come off stale. I need to speak from what I am personally going through right now. That way it'll be more from the gut." That lasts for about 6 minutes.

Then I always come back to, "I just need to pray about it."

It's funny, when I pray about it, sometimes I end up doing the former, sometimes the latter, and sometimes I get something totally new just for that specific occasion. Imagine that, God knowing better what to say to his people than me...

Better go. I've gotta go start reading the Bible and studying and stuff...

Softball Consequences

We played softball after church yesterday.



Ow.





To simulate my experience, please take the following steps:

1. Find a recreational softball game that you may participate in
2. Garner the assistance of an "average-sized" friend
3. Strap said friend to your back
4. Play 7 innings of softball
5. Take 5 Advil (or ibuprofen, if you prefer to purchase generic meds)

It was actually a lot of fun. And very apropos.

Our Pastor, Jeremy, is teaching a series on being determined to live differently and to make more room for God in our lives. The series topic yesterday was really just focused on taking care of ourselves. It revolved around the idea that if we are Kingdom people, and we want to be about Kingdom business, we really need to take care of ourselves. It's hard to "go and do" when all you want to do is "sit and lay". (This is a drastic over-simplification of a very well thought out and delivered message.)

Coincidentally, our church softball game was scheduled right after this message. As I was standing on second base, wishing I had a 3rd, and possibly 4th, lung, I appreciated how good the timing of this game was. It brought into stark reality MY need to get into better shape.

Gotta go, we are heading out for our 1 day budget vacation!

Rhythm & Hues - It Rocks

Hey!! Here's a link to the AJC (Atlanta's major paper). There's a cool article about the coffeehouse venue we have at the church I attend. Once a month...hold on, just read the article. It tells you everything!

Rhythm & Hues

Thanks. Just wanted to give them a plug.

A Manifesto for Church

Yeah!! I've been tagged!! My first time ever.

I've been tagged by Jeff to write about what I think a good church should look like. Here are the rules, according to Barry, who started this thing:

Rules:
1. Post to your blog on the subject "A Manifesto for Church", outlining your thoughts on what an ideal church would/should be like. Posts can be as detailed or as short as you like.
2. Include a copy of these rules.
4. Put a link to your post in the comments to this post.
5. Tag at least 4 other people.
6. What happened to rule 3?
3. Ah, here it is.


So here goes...if only it was as simple to do as it is to cut out of an online Bible and paste into a blog...

Matthew 22:34 - 40 (NIV):

Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question:

"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."

My experience in "churches" is limited. After becoming a Christian, I bounced around between a few different churches while in college. Then I attended a church in central Texas for several years, but it was a LOOOOONG way from where I was attending college, so I never really had a sense of family there. After college, I settled in East Texas and attended the same church for 12+ years. I've since moved to Atlanta, and my wife and I have now been attending our current church for a 1 1/2.

One thing was consistent in most of the churches...they all worked really hard at the first half of the scripture above...loving God. But, I would say that most of them were less "successful" in the second part, loving their neighbor.

"And the second is like it" - you mean that loving my neighbor is like loving God? Wow!

I know this is Theology 101, but if we can't do this, how can we have a healthy "church" at all? We can have great programs, good organization, fantastic preaching, a great worship team, and even great worship...but I seem to remember something about a clanging gong and clashing cymbal...or was that a smashing gong and crashing cymbal...or maybe it was...you get the picture.

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Now I am in a pickle. I am VERY new to this blogging thing, and basically Jeff is my only blog friend. He tagged me, so I don't have anyone to tag back! So I am going to ask Jeff to PLEASE tag a couple of people from my comments, if he has a few more he wants to tag.

Rambling to a Point

It's actually been the better part of a week since I've blogged. I really started thinking about why that is. I've decided it just overall laziness. In regards to most things, I tend toward laziness.

I would love to be a virtuoso musician...but not quite enough to practice. I think being a much-read blogger would be neat-o...and would take a lot of thought and time on the PC. It would rock to have abs of steel...but that takes discipline and time in the gym. Winning the next Pulitzer prize would rock...but books don't write themselves.

If you read my "About Me" or my profile, you'll see that I say:

My interests range from movies to construction, from comic books to religion, and from relationships to technology.

I find people to be very interesting.

People are about that the only thing that holds my attention for very long. I do love to read, but even that comes back to people, though they may be fictitious.

I guess that explains why I was a pastor for a dozen years or more. I didn't do it for the fun trips, because I loved playing football with the youth, or the money (haha!), I did it because it was about relationship. Growing up, everyone always came to my house. My house was where everyone got together. As a kid, my friends usually spent the night at my house, and I was the one that usually threw the plans together when groups of us would go out.

"Religion" as a whole has been boring to me for several years. However, Jesus as a person (not to mention Saviour), and my relationship with Him still fascinates me. My pastor finished a series a couple of weeks ago about relationship. One of the main points of his last message was cautioning us to be wary, and to not let our relationship with Jesus devolve into religion.

He said something along this line:

I have a one year devotional Bible that I started this year...it's May 11th...and I am on January 3rd...and I'm okay with that. Because the health of my relationship with Jesus is not determined by whether or not I do my "daily reading".

(Hopefully I didn't put words in his mouth, but that's what I brought away.)

You mean I don't have to jump through a series of religious hoops for Jesus to love me? So when the Bible says that God is love, it means it? Wow!

It's funny...I had spent a pretty good amount of time beating myself up because I didn't conform to the "religious standards" of the type of church that I attended. And here is my pastor telling me that he's like me! Double wow!! I've never been the most disciplined in prayer, or Bible reading. I tend to say goofy, un-spiritual things. I don't always think to pray first in every situation. And I don't witness to every person I meet. What a failure!

Am I saying that a real spiritual walk with Christ requires no discipline? Uh...no. And for those that have a very "disciplined" Christian walk, more power to you! However, I will say that I've met some pretty mean Christians that had a great "devotional life". My friend Jeff made that his second point in his blog about "Why Are Christians Mean?" a few days back.

All cynicism aside, I feel like the discipline required to eat right and lose 100 lbs is, to me, a different type of discipline than what is required to walk in a healthy relationship with someone. Whether that person is your spouse, friend, co-workers, family member, or Jesus. I don't really know how to quantify the differences and to put words to the intangibles that are involved in relationships, but in my heart, there is a difference.

I guess the one is all about my actions, the other is all about my heart.

I may have to post on this again...when I know better what I am trying to say...and when I'm not feeling quite as lazy.

;)

Put Your DuckBack On

I was reading my friend's recent post about Christian community, and his 1st point (of 4) , is "You are going to be hurt". Of course, he's absolutely right. I don't think I've ever had a relationship (that was more than just an acquaintance) where I didn't get hurt. And I know that I have personally hurt most people I know at one time or another.




I just want to stop for a minute and say that this post is not a "I have the answer!" post, but instead more of a "This is I how I deal with it!" post.






In college, at one point I had 5 roommates. That's right, 6 single, barely post-teen boys living in one house. Did we hurt each other? Absolutely. We had a phrase we used to say to each other whenever one of us would get on the other's nerves.

Put on your duckback.

What does that mean exactly? It means just what it sounds like. Let whatever it is that the person said or did run off of your back like "water off of a duck's back". Wow! We were pretty clever, huh?

But seriously. the Chuck Swindoll's quasi-famous quote about life being 10% what happens to us, and 90% about our attitude is really true. People will hurt us, people will do things that aren't fair, (and often the circumstances of life itself) but our reaction and attitude toward them is ultimately what determines what effect it has on us. I think the phrase "I take offense to that!" is actual much more correct than "You offended me!" Many times our offenses are something we own and keep near and dear to our hearts.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words really hurt me.

Do I walk in un-offendable perfection? No. Do I still catch myself being offended at times. Honestly, not very often, but occasionally. But when I do, I just say to myself, "Okay, put on your duckback."

So, the next time someone you know (or don't know) does something to offend you, just give me call and say, "Aaron, hand me the duckback!"