Thankfully 2009

Last year, I wrote a little post called "Thankfully...". This year, back by popular demand (not really, I just decided to do it), is this year's "Thankfully" post. Come to think of it, only one section changed. Interesting.

My thankful lists, by category:

Biggees:
My wife
My son
My family
My friends
My church
My job
My home
My health

Random:
Laptops

Pimento Cheese

Gas Grills

MS-SQL

Rebooting

Droid

Good books

Prolific authors

Pickles

Recliners

Elastic

Comic books

Netflix

(last, but not least)
Spiritual:
The Cross
Grace
Mercy
A God Who Loves Me

Body Image Part II

I while back I wrote about how we sometimes get an image of ourselves locked in our mind, and when we change (gain weight, grey hair, etc.) we end up in a situation where our inward image and outward image don't jive. Of course, I can't speak for everyone, but it has happened to me.

I just wanted to expand the idea a little and let you fill in the holes.

On a personal level, I'm talking about moral drift. The person that compromises just a little at work. The first time it is tough, the next time easier, etc., etc.

Organizations can do that, too. Our government, for example. How about a church? How about The Church?

Just something to think about.

A Little Wood...A Little Glue...

A few weeks ago we had our Back to School Bash. It was a (Back to School) Blast! You can read more about it here.

While the event was going on, I was working at the booth passing out the free backpacks. Also at the booth was our friend Kristen. She and I were chatting (along with our spouses), and I learned that she was trying to find the right TV stand/entertainment center for their new house. They weren't having any luck finding one that combined the right price with a design they liked.

So I, being the genius that I am, volunteered to build them one.

What was that you asked? Have I built a lot of TV stands?

Let's see...at THAT time I had built...umm....zero. Zilch. None. Nada. Nil.

But I had a plan and the will to see it through!

So, after getting the go ahead from Nick (Kristen's husband), and Cheryl (my wife), I wasted no time in moving ahead with my plan. My plan revolved around one key ingredient, without which I was pretty much doomed to failure: Tom Little.

Tom was also at the BtSB, so as soon as I saw him I told him that I desperately needed his help...more specifically, his tablesaw. Tom, being the good friend that he is (not to mention a mastercraftsman in multiple disciplines) said, "Sure! I'd be glad to help."

Now my success was assured. With Tom on the team we were good to go.

After hearing Nick's Kristen's desires, I had formulated a plan and drew up some rough plans. To make a long story medium, we arranged a time on a Saturday a few weeks later, and Tom, Nick, and I met at Tom's house.

Well, three hours later, we had it fabricated (except for the back, we took the picture before we added that)! Nick Kristen was going to paint/stain it, so we were done!

Later that day, I dropped it off at their house. A few days later, Kristen sent me a picture via phone of the finished project. Wow! They did a great job on it.

Below is a picture of it all set up. What a fun project. I had a great time fleshing out the design,and Kristen has been very gracious and complimentary. Fun all around.

The next project Tom and I are tackling is a bunkbed for Nathanael...but it won't be just any bunkbed. I've got some ideas for that too...

Thanks again, Tom!

Father's Day, Part II

It just so happened that I started this blog in May of last year, so one of my earlier posts was on Father's Day about my dad. I've mentioned him a couple of times since then. And, since it is indeed Father's Day, I thought I would throw another little nugget out there.

Okay, two more stories about dad involving his reputation:

First Story:

I grew up in a small town. We had a sod farm, which meant we had several tractors. We not only had our own land, but we also leased land from several people. Often times, to get a tractor from one piece of property to another, we simply drove them. I've spent lots of hours driving tractors, forklifts, and other equipment down the highway.

On one such occasion, I stopped at a gas station and filled up the tractor I was driving with diesel. I topped off the tank, went inside...and realized I didn't have any money. No one was home, and this was WAY before the days of everyone carrying a cell phone.

So what did I do? Simple.

I went up to the counter and said, "I just filled up my tractor and realized I don't have my wallet. Can my dad stop by later and pay?"

"Aren't you Bobby Butler's son?"

"Yes."

"Sure. No problem."

Like I said, simple.

Second Story:

Another time a friend and I were going to go fishing in a little pond on one of the properties that we leased. As we were driving across the property toward the pond, a truck came barreling across the field towards us and pulled up next to my window. The following conversation occurred:

"What do you boys think you are doing?"

"We were gonna go fishing."

"Who told you could go fishing in my pond?"

"My dad said he didn't think you would mind..."

"Who the $%^& is your dad?"

"Bobby Butler."

"Oh...well...you boys go ahead."

And he drove off.

Needless to say, my friend and I were a little concerned from that exchange. We fished for maybe 10 minutes, but we felt so uncomfortable that we headed back to my house. When we arrived, the gentleman was already there, apologizing to my dad for using such colorful metaphors when talking to me.

My dad probably could not have quoted Proverbs 22:1 verbatim:

A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold.

But he knew the truth of it, he believed it, and did his best to live it. He knew the asset and/or liability a man's (or woman's) reputation can be. His reputation around the small town that I grew up in was that he was a tough but fair, honest, hard-working man. His reputation around our home was that he rocked!

Friends

This past week I've been thinking about friendship in general, and all the wonderful roles friends have played in my life over the years. So, I just thought I would list a few. I don't want to embarrass anyone, so I'm going to let each anecdote remain anonymous. You know who you are.

1. Once, I was riding with my father in his 18-wheeler. One of the front wheels broke into two pieces (yes, it was as scary as it sounds), and we were stranded on the side of the road. My dad called one of his friends (who also owned some trucks) and found a replacement wheel. I called one of my friends, who picked the wheel up, then drove almost three hours to bring us the wheel.
2. I have multiple friends that took a week off of work (some multiple times over the years) to go with me and serve at youth camp. I know they weren't doing it just for me, but it blessed me still.
   
3. I had a friend show up at my house one day with the #1 issue of the comic book "The Tick". One of my favorites. No reason, just thought I might like it.
4. In the midst of moving, I found out I was coming down with Strep Throat. A couple of our friends not only helped us move, but came back over that evening, brought us dinner, and helped with Nathanael and unpacking.
5. One of my friends drove our moving truck all the way from Texas. Some more of my friends, who just happened to be teenagers, came along to help.
6. Several of our friends have come all the way from Texas just to visit us in Atlanta.
7. One of my friends climbed up on the roof of my house to install my TV antenna for me.

There are many, many more that I could list. But I think I'll save some for later.

Ecclesiastes says, "If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!"

How true!

Labels? Schmabels!

Just to clarify, this is not the same post my good friend Jeff wrote entitled "Label Schmabel". I mean, it's obviously not exactly the same. My title is plural and has punctation. You ought to take a few minutes and read his when you have a chance.

My thoughts aren't crystal clear on this subject yet, but I thought writing about it might help. So, here goes.

If you've ever watched The Breakfast Club, a movie about a group of high school kids that spend a day in Saturday detention, you know it deals with stereotypes. At the start of the movie, their judgemental supervising teacher gives them an assignment to write an essay about who they think they are. At the end of the movie, you hear the essay read as a voice over.

Dear Mr. Vernon,

We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. But we think you're crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us...

In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain...

...and an athlete...
...and a basket case...
...a princess...
...and a criminal...

Does that answer your question?

Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Club.

Very interesting, huh? Like Mr. Vernon in the movie, we all, in general, define people by the "groups" that they belong to. A few examples immediately come to mind:

teacher
Texan
musician
liberal
adult
environmentalist
biker
geek
Christian
professional
father

Whether it is because of a person's profession, gender, political leaning, age, or socioeconomic class, we all tend to view people through those stereotypes/labels/paradigms. But, also like in the movie, the reality is that no one is only one of those things, or a perfect representation of any particular group.

You might ask, "Aaron, if a movie from the 80's has already explored all this, why are you re-hashing it?"

I might answer, "I don't know." But I won't. Instead I'll answer by saying that the thing I wanted to remind myself (and you, if you are reading this) is that when we let labels define people, we ascribe faults and strengths to people that they may or may not have. I have one friend who always says (only half-jokingly) that anybody with dreadlocks smokes dope.

When I met my wife in college, I volunteered to tutor her in trigonometry. I'm a big guy, and in college I was in (much) better shape. My (future) wife's response internally to my offer was, "How can he tutor me in trig? He's just a big dumb jock."

You know what they say...don't judge a book by its cover. (But you may not know what I say...don't judge a book by its movie. )

Though I may have looked it, I, of course, am not a big dumb jock.

What do you think people might assume about you? Who do you tend to "pre-judge"? It's worth thinking about.

There you have it...told you I didn't have my thoughts organized very well on this.

As You Wish

We interrupt our typically humorous blogcast for this important, somewhat serious, totally heartfelt, private service announcement...

---

You may have seen from a previous post that my wife (and son) were going to Texas for a couple of weeks. They've only been gone for 3 1/2 days, but tonight it got me thinking.

We've been married 15 years, and known each other for almost 18. I've known her longer than I can remember not knowing her, if that makes sense.

And you know, it's true what they say, that you don't always have those initial butterflies, that excitement you have as you begin a new relationship. But it's NOT true that you NEVER have them. I'm already anticipating next weekend when she returns. I admit that when I think about her coming home, I get a few Monarchs in my belly. I can't hardly wait!

How cool is that? After 18 years I'm still in love with a wonderful woman...absolutely, totally smitten!

---

We now return you to our regularly scheduled series of witty anecdotal blogs...

Bach(elor)-ing It

Monday morning my wife of 15 years is heading to Texas for two weeks. Her sister just had a little baby girl on Monday. Welcome to the world Ella Grace! (That brings my total to 6 nieces and 3 nephews). Cheryl is going to help her sister out and spend some time with family and friends.

Two weeks!! That's the longest I've been alone since we've gotten married. I hope I can handle it! Apparently my wife is a little concerned for me as well. Check out the picture of our freezer. That's right! Tater tot casserole and meatballs (with green olives and feta cheese) and mashed potatoes.

What a woman. Only one of many reasons that my ringtone for her is the Wonder Woman theme song.

Proverbs 31:28-29
Her children respect and bless her; her husband joins in with words of praise: “Many women have done wonderful things, but you’ve outclassed them all!”

My Word Is My Blah

Have you ever seen the movie "The Freshman" starring Matthew Broderick and Marlon Brando? If you haven't, you might want to check it out. It's a (sorta) dark comedy about a college freshman named Clark Kellogg (Broderick) who becomes a delivery man for a godfather-like character named Carmine Sabitini (Brando). It's got some funny moments, but there is a particular scene that stands out to me. I actually think about it fairly often.

Near the end of the movie, there's a scene where Clark really, really wants to talk to Carmine. Carmine brushes him off and Clark presses the issue. I couldn't find the actual script, but in my head, this is the way the scene plays out:

Clark: I really have to talk to you.

Carmine: We'll talk after dinner.

Clark: Do you promise?

Carmine: By definition, everything I say is a promise.

Think about Carmine's last line for a minute. I'll wait.

(Whistle, whistle, whistle...toe tap, toe tap, toe tap...checking watch)

Okay!

"By definition, everything I say is a promise." That's something worth striving for. If we find ourselves having to reassure the people in our lives that we'll do what we say we'll do, then that's a problem. I want to live my life in such a way that my family and friends never feel that my words are an empty promise. I have a couple of friends that are great friends, but it's sad to say that if they say they are coming over, I don't count on it until they drive up.

I understand that there are some instances where you just can't do what you've said. It happens. Sometimes circumstances change. Am I living this idea out perfectly? Nope. But I'm trying. This is something my dad stressed when I was growing up.

It also makes me think of this Bible verse:

Matthew 5:37
Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.

What do you think? Is this something you think about? Something you struggle with?

You Should Be As Excited As I Am

My wife started a blog!!

Okay...I actually started it. But that's beside the point. This blog is going to be a place for her to put all those recipes that everyone is always asking for! Isn't that exciting?

Also, she doesn't really know it yet, but she's going to put some of her craft-i-est ideas on the blog as well!

Aren't you just jazzed?

Click here to let the eating begin!!

My Crazy Friend Steve

My life-long best friend is named Steven. Today he turned 40.

My earliest memory of Steven is going to his 5th birthday party. His dad was always something of a technophile, so he always had gadgets and gizmos around. At the birthday party we played Pong. The original Pong. It was awesome!!!

When I was eight, one of those wonderful things that only happens once in a lifetime happened. We moved to our new house...5 houses down from Steven! We had lots of fun times together living that close. When we were 12, his parents divorced and he moved with him mother into town, but we still saw each other all the time.

So, I thought I would just share a few thoughts, memories, and anecdotes about my best friend.

• Steven once tried to throw his watch across our pond. I don't remember how we got to the point where we were arguing about whether or not he could do it...but somehow we arrived there. It didn't make it.
  
• Steven and I were each other's best man in our weddings.
• Steven's dad had a TRS-80 Model I computer. We spent HOURS programming and playing on it. I probably have Steven to thank for my job I have right now. Thanks, Steven.
  
• Steven is possibly the smartest person I have ever met. He's an orthopaedic surgeon now, by the way. Most people in school didn't get him. He was just too smart for them.
• When we were about 9 Steven got glasses. That day he came over to my house and lost them.
• We both liked comic books, ninjas, and computers as kids. Not necessarily in that order.
• Steven failed band in 6th grade. He played the tuba...just not very well.
  
• Steven is very good at chess. I could hardly ever beat him...except the one time we played in a tournament!
  
• He drove a blue station wagon as his first car that had a bumper sticker that said, "If my car was a horse, I'd have to shoot it."
• He reminds me a little of Steve Martin...but funnier.
• He had a go-cart as a kid. One time he cranked it and it got away from him and ran into his neighbor's house: Mrs. Fuller. Mrs. Fuller was German and she came out and yelled at him that he had "hit her house with his go-thing!"nin her German accent.
  
• He's 6' 5" tall. Because of growing up with him, unless you're taller than that, you don't seem tall to me.
• Once, on a Science Club trip, we were staying at some condos in Houston. One of the things that we could do while hanging out at the condos during the day was check out bicycles, big over-size tricycles, and tandem bicycles. Steven got on one of the big bicycles...it was an old school Pee-Wee Herman style. I was standing down by the river that the condos were built near, and I saw Steven come out between a couple of buildings heading down the hill. About half way down, his feet slipped off the pedals and he couldn't stop. As I watched he hit the top of the retaining wall that was at the edge of the river, flew over the handlebars and disappeared into the river. Three seconds later he popped up saying, "I'm okay!" The river was very low and there was just soft dirt below the retaining wall, no water. This paragraph just doesn't do it justice...it is still the funniest thing I have ever seen.
  
• When, as a teenager, I would start to do something stupid, he would always say, "For the record, I am not condoning or encouraging this..."
• When I accidentally snitched on one of my other good friends in high school, I was pretty much ostracized by my entire class until everyone found out it was an accident. Steven was the only person that stuck by me the entire time.

Happy Birthday, Steven!

(P.S. In college I was in a band. After practice we would often sitting around shooting the breeze, and inevitably I would end up telling some story about me and Steven. My friends from the band still refer to them as my "crazy friend Steve" stories...hence the name of this post.)

Bon Appetit

My mom is a great cook (BTW, so are my wife, my in-laws, and most of my family in general). In fact she's a CHAMPION cook. That's right. She's won c0mpetitions. I'm very proud of her. So, I thought I'd write a quick note and brag on her.

The picture attached to this post is one of the walls of her bedroom with SOME of her plaques, ribbons, and trophies.

Way to go, Mom!! You rock! Now...what's for dinner?

Thankfully...

My thankful lists, by category:


Biggees:
My wife
My son
My family
My friends
My church
My job
My home
My health

Random:
Books
Ham
Velcro
Cell phones
Recliners
Sweet tea

Superheroes
Flip-flops

Power windows

Copy/Paste

Vacation

Google

(last, but not least)
Spiritual:
The Cross
Grace
Mercy
A God Who Loves Me

By the Zeppa Center

In college I was walking to the practice field (I was in the marching band) when I walked by a new freshman girl. She was cute, so I said hello to her. She respond with a "Hi" back, but with this really cute southern twang that made "Hi" a two syllable word.

That made her even cuter.

A few days later, I twisted my ankle playing wallyball, and had to sit on the sidelines during marching band practice for a couple of weeks. She and a couple of her friends started talking with me during water breaks. One day I asked her if she was going to a recital at the music building that evening. She said that she might, and later that night she did show up and we ended up sitting next to each other.

While a group of us were talking and waiting for the recital to start, she mentioned that she was taking trigonometry. I volunteered to tutor her if she needed any help. (From purely selflless, motives, I assure you.) She looked at me very strangely. I later came to find out that she was shocked that I thought I could tutor her in a math subject. To her I just looked like a big dumb jock.

Anyway, the tutoring began, and after a few weeks, she invited me to go to the Texas State Fair with her and some friends. I agreed, but then asked if she would meet me by the lake at the Zeppa Center (our college rec building - which has now been demolished and replaced) to talk a little bit.

We did, and the conversation was a pretty long one, but basically went like this:

Me: I was in a long relationship, and I'm not really interested in dating just to date. I really plan on marrying the next person I date. If that's not where you are right now (being just 18 and all), I totally understand. But if you want, we can still go to the fair, but just go as friends.

Pause...

Her: Let's be friends.

So that's what we did.



Fast forward a bit...



November 20th will be our 15th wedding anniversary.

I'd say overall that the day by the Zeppa Center turned out to be a good day.

Rambling to a Point

It's actually been the better part of a week since I've blogged. I really started thinking about why that is. I've decided it just overall laziness. In regards to most things, I tend toward laziness.

I would love to be a virtuoso musician...but not quite enough to practice. I think being a much-read blogger would be neat-o...and would take a lot of thought and time on the PC. It would rock to have abs of steel...but that takes discipline and time in the gym. Winning the next Pulitzer prize would rock...but books don't write themselves.

If you read my "About Me" or my profile, you'll see that I say:

My interests range from movies to construction, from comic books to religion, and from relationships to technology.

I find people to be very interesting.

People are about that the only thing that holds my attention for very long. I do love to read, but even that comes back to people, though they may be fictitious.

I guess that explains why I was a pastor for a dozen years or more. I didn't do it for the fun trips, because I loved playing football with the youth, or the money (haha!), I did it because it was about relationship. Growing up, everyone always came to my house. My house was where everyone got together. As a kid, my friends usually spent the night at my house, and I was the one that usually threw the plans together when groups of us would go out.

"Religion" as a whole has been boring to me for several years. However, Jesus as a person (not to mention Saviour), and my relationship with Him still fascinates me. My pastor finished a series a couple of weeks ago about relationship. One of the main points of his last message was cautioning us to be wary, and to not let our relationship with Jesus devolve into religion.

He said something along this line:

I have a one year devotional Bible that I started this year...it's May 11th...and I am on January 3rd...and I'm okay with that. Because the health of my relationship with Jesus is not determined by whether or not I do my "daily reading".

(Hopefully I didn't put words in his mouth, but that's what I brought away.)

You mean I don't have to jump through a series of religious hoops for Jesus to love me? So when the Bible says that God is love, it means it? Wow!

It's funny...I had spent a pretty good amount of time beating myself up because I didn't conform to the "religious standards" of the type of church that I attended. And here is my pastor telling me that he's like me! Double wow!! I've never been the most disciplined in prayer, or Bible reading. I tend to say goofy, un-spiritual things. I don't always think to pray first in every situation. And I don't witness to every person I meet. What a failure!

Am I saying that a real spiritual walk with Christ requires no discipline? Uh...no. And for those that have a very "disciplined" Christian walk, more power to you! However, I will say that I've met some pretty mean Christians that had a great "devotional life". My friend Jeff made that his second point in his blog about "Why Are Christians Mean?" a few days back.

All cynicism aside, I feel like the discipline required to eat right and lose 100 lbs is, to me, a different type of discipline than what is required to walk in a healthy relationship with someone. Whether that person is your spouse, friend, co-workers, family member, or Jesus. I don't really know how to quantify the differences and to put words to the intangibles that are involved in relationships, but in my heart, there is a difference.

I guess the one is all about my actions, the other is all about my heart.

I may have to post on this again...when I know better what I am trying to say...and when I'm not feeling quite as lazy.

;)

Put Your DuckBack On

I was reading my friend's recent post about Christian community, and his 1st point (of 4) , is "You are going to be hurt". Of course, he's absolutely right. I don't think I've ever had a relationship (that was more than just an acquaintance) where I didn't get hurt. And I know that I have personally hurt most people I know at one time or another.




I just want to stop for a minute and say that this post is not a "I have the answer!" post, but instead more of a "This is I how I deal with it!" post.






In college, at one point I had 5 roommates. That's right, 6 single, barely post-teen boys living in one house. Did we hurt each other? Absolutely. We had a phrase we used to say to each other whenever one of us would get on the other's nerves.

Put on your duckback.

What does that mean exactly? It means just what it sounds like. Let whatever it is that the person said or did run off of your back like "water off of a duck's back". Wow! We were pretty clever, huh?

But seriously. the Chuck Swindoll's quasi-famous quote about life being 10% what happens to us, and 90% about our attitude is really true. People will hurt us, people will do things that aren't fair, (and often the circumstances of life itself) but our reaction and attitude toward them is ultimately what determines what effect it has on us. I think the phrase "I take offense to that!" is actual much more correct than "You offended me!" Many times our offenses are something we own and keep near and dear to our hearts.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words really hurt me.

Do I walk in un-offendable perfection? No. Do I still catch myself being offended at times. Honestly, not very often, but occasionally. But when I do, I just say to myself, "Okay, put on your duckback."

So, the next time someone you know (or don't know) does something to offend you, just give me call and say, "Aaron, hand me the duckback!"