Anchors A-Weigh

The other day, my wife and I went on a cruise. We went to Progresso and Cozumel, and our third stop was Belize. We actually never went to the mainland of Belize. Instead we choose for one of our "excursions" to go snorkeling at Goff's Caye (pronounced KEY, I've been told).


Goff's Caye turned out to be a small island. When I say small...I mean SMALL. Tiny. It was right off the coral reef, and was surrounded by crystal clear water. The picture attached to this post is Goff's Caye. There was a place to dock a couple of boats and a little cabana with some people selling drinks and snacks out of ice chests. It was a beautiful place.

Goff's Caye is not what this post is about. It's about Larry.

Larry was the "deckhand" on the boat that we took from the cruise ship to the island. He had a brilliant smile, a quiet manner, and a quick laugh. He was less than 18 years old, and weighed a buck 'O five soaking wet. One of Larry's jobs was to help people back into the boat.

You see, we snorkeled from the boat about 300 yards off Goff's Caye. When you finished snorkeling, you swam back to the boat, and got back in. At least that was the general idea.

There was a ladder on the back of the boat. However, one side of it had broken loose from the fiberglass of the boat. So Larry would stand with one foot holding the broken piece of the ladder in place, hanging a rope over the back for each person to pull themselves up. The ladder was so short that only the bottom step was actually in the water. I had to practically float on my back to get my foot up on to it.

Now picture Larry, all 105 lbs of him, trying to hold a rope that I'M pulling on, while keeping the ladder from pulling loose with one of his feet.

After about 10 minutes of me attempting to get in, Larry and I both realized that if I were to pull hard enough to pull myself up onto the ladder, what would actually happen would be the quick extrication of Larry from the boat.

Fortunately, another snorkeler was willing to give me a shove on the derrier to give me the extra boost I needed to get in without pulling Larry out.

Embaressing? Yes.

Funny? Absolutely.

A Family Heirloom

One fine day in 1991, my wife-to-be came to my parent's home for the first time. She came to attend my childhood best friend's wedding. While she was there, I of course gave her the grand tour of my home, showed her the family scrapbooks, etc.

One of the things that I showed her was one our family heirlooms. It's a porcelain wall vase, shaped like a handfan, dipped in 24k gold. It's one of the few "fancy" things we have. My family usually goes for more of the rustic antique-type things.


I wanted to show my wife-to-be the markings on the inside where is showed that it was 24k gold, etc. So, I took it off the wall...and dropped it. That's right. I dropped it.

And. It. Broke.

Into pieces. Just a few. I was able to glue it back together, and when it is hanging on the wall you can't tell it was ever damaged. It's our family secret.

Can anyone top that story?

A Joyful Melancholy Christmas

Christmas is always somewhat of paradox for me and my family. We, as a family, love Christmas. However, it's always a little bitter-sweet.

We lost my dad on December 1st, 1999. Bad enough to lose a family member during the holidays, but Christmas we very special to my dad. He played Santa for years. If you would like, take a minute and click here to read my previous post.

Of course, we have LOTS of great memories of dad, and we always talk freely about him. At the same time, I always miss him the most during Christmas.

He played Santa many places, but he was THE Santa at our local mall for years. Just after Christmas, I had a chance (yeah!) to stop by the mall. The Santa Land display was still set up. There's a pretty green package with a plaque on it sitting just to the left of Santa's chair. In case you can't read it in the photo, the plaque says:

This Gift Box

Displayed
In Memory Of
"Santa Bob"
Bob Butler
3-11-1936 to 12-1-1999

Again, a little bitter-sweet...but it brought a small to my face to think of him.

Milk Does A Blogger Good

So, along with my post about misleading advertising done by a major jewelry maker, I thought I would point out something else that everyone else may not know.

Whole milk is 3.25% butterfat. That's right...3.25%.

"What does that mean to me?" you ask.

What it means is that 2% milk does not have 2% of the butterfat that whole milk has. It has 61.5% of the butterfat that whole milk has!! A cup of whole milk has 28 more calories from fat than a cup of 2% milk.

In the words of my mother:

"I don't like little percent fat milk...I like real milk better than fake milk."

So drink whole milk. Enjoy it. It's not 98% worse for you than that 2% the establishment tries to push on you, but it does taste 300% better!

A Christmas Eve Tradition

Okay, I admit it. I like opening presents. I like surprises. My wife laughs at me because I always want to open presents 1 to 12 days early.

I managed to talk her into exchanging our gifts on the 20th this year! We're out of town for the holidays, and it seemed just silly to tote all those presents half way across the country to open them and tote them halfway back. Right?!? :)

Every year growing up I always worked my parents hard about opening presents. Usually, what would end up happening is I could open just one present a day early. Just one. Now, it was never THE present. You know the one I'm talking about. The one that you especially wanted. The one that you had been asking for for weeks. In my house, that present was usually reserved for delivery by Santa, and was opened Christmas Day morning. But I usually managed to squeeze out one present early.

Today, we're keeping that tradition alive (at my request). My son is going to open one present tonight, then tomorrow we're opening the rest. The present he is going to open is actually some of my old Fischer Price toys that my mom and sister got out of the attic and wrapped up for him.

I'm a believer in thinking out of the box and being innovative...but not all traditions are bad.

Merry Christmas

Time Is Relative...No Really It Is!

There's something I want you to know about me. I thought I should go ahead and get it out in the open.

Sometimes people look at me funny. Okay...lots of times people look at me funny. But sometimes in particular they look at me funny because of a quirk of mine.

Often I will start an anecdote with, "The other day I..."

Now, when most people say "the other day", they mean a couple of days ago, or maybe a week or two. But for me, there's today, yesterday, and "the other day". Could be 3 days, 3 weeks...even 3 years.

I think the furthest back I've "the other day"ed it is about 6 years. If it was in the past, and it wasn't yesterday, then it was "the other day".

Oh yeah...just FYI, this is my 75th blog since I started blogging the other day.

Two Type of Drivers

A brilliant man once said (actually I think it was a standup comic) that there are only two types of drivers in the world:

idiots & maniacs

An Idiot is anyone that is driving slower than you. A Maniac is anyone driving faster.

True insight into human nature if you ask me.

I've Been Converted!

Every couple of years, Cheryl and I would get our pictures taken to pass out to family and friends. Then when Nathanael came along it escalated.

I guess the main problem was the places that we would go. Wal-Mart. Target. JC Penny. Any place that had a coupon.

But I detested it!!! Waiting in line for the people in front of you to decide which mediocre picture they wanted. Then sitting under the Kentucky Fried Chicken lamp, slowly dissolving into a pool of sweat. Turn your head. A little more. Now lower your chin. Turn your head a little more. Now smile. Bigger...

Arrgghh!! Get me out of there!!

Then you sort through the pictures, pick one you are only partially happy with, and buy a set with the 3 sizes you really want, and 400 ultra-small ones that you'll never give to anyone.

1) Your root canal is Friday.
2) Your dog died.
3) We have pictures Tuesday.

My three favorite phrases to hear.

Now today...today was different!! We met Melody Purcell at the park. It was chilly, so we went pretty fast, but in less time than it took Susie No-Talent at the Cheap-Mart to take our pictures, Melody snapped a couple DOZEN incredible shots. I even had fun. That's right, I said it, fun!

I am a professional photo shoot convert. I'm never going back. You can't make me. Don't even try. But if you live in the Atlanta area, and you need a photographer, let me know.

Another Update

A while back, I posted a blog about my sister, who was recently diagnosed with lung cancer. She has already given one good report. Below is her most recent email.

I had a CAT scan yesterday. Neal & I went to see Dr. Pant this afternoon. The Keemo is working great---the tumor is gone...that's right GONE. There is no more fluid in my chest. Some scar tissue but that is to be expected. After I sat for a bit quietly I asked "What does this mean?" Dr. Pant says we are exactly where we need to be..couldn't ask for anything better. I will continue with my next two Keeemo sessions...one coming up next Monday and the LAST the first Monday of January. After that I will have a CAT scan every 2-3 months to monitor my progress or "lack thereof" as I prefer to think of it! When or if it comes back we will deal with it then. I believe my continued overall wellness will soar once the drugs & poison are out of my system.

I finally took the plunge Sunday before last and shaved my head. I do have a good lookin' noggin (just as I suspected) and Dr. Pant suggested today that Neal & I should have our picture made to send out for Christmas Cards! She's pretty cool--I like her alot! Susan (my work friend/spouse) had a batch of Brazos Fasteners do-rags made. My crew can be quite a site with their various head gear on these days!

I want to thank all of your for your continued prayers & support. I told my Yoga buddy tonight I feel like I'm in a snow globe of love. I'm sometimes overwhelmed. I am blessed each and everyday...and this one has been no exception. We wish all of you a Merry Christmas and a New Year filled with love, health and happiness. We hope to see you soon....

How's that for great news? Keep up the praying.

Zales? Shmales!

As I watching one of my favorite shows tonight, being without my cable DVR, I ended up watching a few commercials.

One of them was a "Zales 25% off the original price" commercial.

Then I noticed the small print.

"Original sales price may not have resulted in actual sales."

Clever.

Chuck E. Cheese

So I guess we ditched the cable none too soon. Why, you ask?

We were driving through Marietta a few days ago, when we passed by a Chuck E. Cheese's Pizza. My 2+ year-old son saw the sign and yelled, (in his cute, 2 year-old voice) "I wanna go play games at Chuck E. Cheese's!!!!"

Now, if the story ended here, it would be cute enough, but it doesn't. My son didn't just yell out the fact that he wanted to go play games. He didn't just yell the name of the "restaurant". This is what he said in its entirety:

"I wanna go play games at Chuch E. Cheese's...a proud sponsor of Playhouse Disney!!"

Yep...too much cable.

Wrecked and Abandoned

While in college, I was in a hip, cool, froody band called Reckless Abandon. That's right...Reckless Abandon. We were a Christian rock band, desperately hanging onto the end of the glam rock days, still sporting our mullets and convincing ourselves that our mullets, and ourselves were cool.

As I mentioned, we played Christian music (actually, I said we were a Christian rock band, but that is what that usually means to most people), so not only did we have a name that to us signified something spiritual and meaningful (that's another post), but we ALSO had a band Bible verse. Kind of our signature scripture if you will.

It was Matthew chapter 16, verse 24:

Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me."

It's a good verse. I like it. We all did. So much so, that our band logo consisted of our name (Reckless Abandon), with a little "Matthew 16:24" underneath it.

We actually played the area around our college quite a bit, and ended up getting some t-shirts made. Of course, being in college, and musicians, we had no money. So we got some guy who owed a favor to somebody's uncle's cousin's sister-in-law and just happened to have a t-shirt business on the side to print them for us.

And he did. And we were pumped! White lettering on black t-shirts. They were cool. There was our name "Reckless Abandon"...and there was our band verse: Matthew 16:20. Awesome!

Then someone noticed something... Wait a minute...it says Matthew 16:20! It was supposed to be Matthew 16:24! What's Matthew 16:20 say?

Then he warned his disciples not to tell anyone that he was the Christ.

-----

True story.

-----

Feeling brave?

A Little Premature?

On the little screen in the elevator at work today I saw an interesting headline:

Ala. county sets 'Barack Obama Day' as new holiday

Now, don't get me wrong. I recognize the historic precedent of Barack Obama's election. I really do. But couldn't we have waited until he at least took office before we created a holiday for him?

I mean...

In this county, this is a paid, government holiday. Annual holiday. Take a minute and read the article.

Go figure.

Happy Birthday to Me

It's not my birthday today. (It's February 10th, in case you want to make a note of it.) But a few years ago, my birthday was especially special.

My parents and some of my in-laws were in town for my birthday, and my wife was cooking homemade pasta e fagioli soup (even better than Olive Garden's). It was set to be a nice day.

Then about the time we were going to eat, up to our door walks a crowd of people. All my best friends, my pastor, coworkers, pretty much everyone in Tyler that I cared about. Once the dust had settled, my wife had somehow managed to coordinate tables and chairs being set up in our dining room and living room, and about 35 people sat down and enjoyed my birthday soup with me.

My wife went through an unbelievable amount of trouble just for me. I'll never forget my special surprise birthday party.

It was a good day.