Really? No, Really?

I just saw an insurance commercial.  It had a guy playing the part of "wind".  He was dressed in a suit, sitting up in a tree on a limb.  The limb overhung a new car.  He bounced up and down on the limb and made it break off and fall on the car.  Simulating wind and all.

Here's the "really" part.

As he did this (bounced on the limb and broke it off so that it fell on the car below), some small text popped on the bottom of the screen:

"Professional stuntman.  Do not attempt."

How far down the path of the ludicrous have we traveled that some legal department somewhere felt the need to let us know not to do that.

Thanks for the advice...I was really considering it.

Reflections

The title's not talking about looking back to the past. It's referring to how our kids are such reflections of us.

My (almost) three-year-old son brought me one of my videos of the The Tick and asked if we could watch it. I told him that we could watch it as soon as I finished the blog that I was writing for Father's Day. Below is his reply. Verbatim.

"Okay! That would be a perfect plan! Fantastic!!"

Oh, where does he get such a flair for the dramatic? Gee...I don't know.

These Are A Few of My (Least) Favorite Things

I'm pretty easy going. But there are a couple of things that just drive...me...crazy.

1) Fingertappers
2) Newscasters


Fingertappers are people that tap a finger or two on the microphone to the rhythm of the beat while they are singing. It drives me crazy. CRAZY, I tell you!! I don't remember fingertappers being around in the '80s. I think Christina Aguilara started it all. Even if she didn't, I've decided to blame her.

When we watch American Idol, (I can't abbreviate it as AI, when people do that I always think of artificial intelligence) if the person is a fingertapper, they go right to the bottom of my list. I would rather watch Sanjaya than a fingertapper. No, really, I would.

If you happen to be a fingertapper, I don't dislike you personally. I don't even blame you. I blame Christina Aguilara.

Newscasters also drive me crazy. I'm talking about the ones that have all gone to the same school. I call them " left, right, up, down" newscasters. You know what I'm talking about, right? It goes like this:

"Tonight on 11 Alive News..." (look left)
"we'll meet a family with four cats..." (look right)
"but there's a problem..." (look up)
"they also have...a dog." (look down)

Of course, they're not really "looking" in those directions. Their eyes stay glued to the teleprompter, and while the rest of their head does the gyrations. Two other things finish the package. If they're female, they must speak in a very nasally voice. And, they must pause just before the last...few words.

I always wonder if they talk like that at home, too.

Husband:
"Honey, what's for dinner?"

Wife (in a nasally voice):
"We're going to have meatloaf..." (look left)
"as the main dish..." (look right)
"broccoli and potatoes for sides..." (look up)
"and apple pie...for dessert." (look down)


Watch a little AI (I did it!) and your local news and think of me.

"Reality" TV

I'll admit I like American Idol. I like singing. I like music. It's interesting.

However, this past week, I didn't like it. The teaser commercials had Ryan Seacrest saying, "Tonight, one audition turns serious..." and a clip of Simon saying, "That was a threat." Then a quick shot of Paula, "You don't say that to people..."

I expected, when we finally got that part of the show, to hear someone say something to Simon. I know lots of people have wanted to. Something like, "Meet me outside after the auditions and I'll show you who's got talent," in a menacing voice, or something like that.

Instead, what we had was a country boy saying, "Take care and...be careful." Just kind of mumbling in embarrassment as he left.

Be careful.

Those were the words that Simon took as a threat. Obviously the differences between the British and the U.S. South is greater than I thought.

A large portion of my family says that EVERY TIME someone leaves. It's the southern equivalent of "Take care".

I don't blame Simon (and the rest of the judges) for not being up on Southern colloquialisms. But what bugs me to no end, is the way they spun it. Come on! Isn't the "reality" of reality TV not manipulated enough already?

Argghh!

(BTW - my sister sent me a message via Facebook. She actually said the same things and said them much better than I did.)

Jack Bauer's Not That Bright

So, the new season of 24 has started. Jack's back. He's at it again. I've decided though, that for a smart guy, he's not that bright.

After 7 seasons of disaster averting, bomb disarming, terrorist defeating, and death defying, you would think that he would figure out that at 5 minutes before the hour, he should just hide in a closet.

If you've seen 24, you know what I mean.

If I was Jack, I would get a watch with an alarm, and set it to go off at 10 minutes till the hour, every hour. When it went off, I would run away. I certainly wouldn't schedule a sensitive prisoner transfer right on the hour. Want to stage a coup? Let's NOT do it at 5:00. How about 5:23? That sounds better.

Come on, Jack, think!