You Should Be As Excited As I Am

My wife started a blog!!

Okay...I actually started it. But that's beside the point. This blog is going to be a place for her to put all those recipes that everyone is always asking for! Isn't that exciting?

Also, she doesn't really know it yet, but she's going to put some of her craft-i-est ideas on the blog as well!

Aren't you just jazzed?

Click here to let the eating begin!!

Life on the Hut Line Part II

Part I is available here if you want to catch up.


Me: Thanks for calling Pizza Hut/Wing Street. This is Aaron, will this be for delivery or carryout?

Caller: Delivery. I want a...

Me: Sir? (Attempting to interrupt)

Caller: ...large hand-tossed...

Me: Sir? (Attempting to interrupt again)

Caller: Yes?

Me: Can I get your phone number please?

Caller: Sure. It is 770-555-1793. And I want a...

Me: Sir?

Caller: Yes?

Me: Can I also get your address please?

Caller: Sure. It's 505...Ridge Lane...Mableton...30126. Now, I want a large...

Me: Sir?

Caller: ...hand-tossed...

Me: Sir?

Caller: ...pepperoni pizza with extra black-olives...

Me: Sir?

Caller: ...only on half. Can you do that, put extra olives on half?

Me: Sir, I'm sorry, but...

Caller: That's okay, I'll just get two mediums...

Me: Sir, I'm sorry, but...

Caller: ...one with extra olives, one without...

Me: Sir!!

Caller: Yes?

Me: Sir, I'm sorry, but we don't deliver to your area. Here' the number of our Mableton store...

Life on the Hut Line

As a delivery driver for the Hut, one of my duties is answering the phone. It never fails that at least one call every night goes thusly...

Me: Thanks for calling Pizza Hut/Wing Street. This is Aaron, will this be for delivery or carryout?

Caller: Yeah...uhhh...what specials do you have?

Me: We have our Pizza Mia deal. You can get 3 or more medium 1 topping hand-tossed pizzas for $5 each.

Caller: Any other specials?

Me: Well, you can get 2 medium, 1 topping pizzas and 10 wings for $21.99, or you can get 2 medium, 1 topping pizzas, breadsticks, and chocolate dunkers for $19.99.

Caller: Uhhh...

Me: How many people are you buying for?

Caller: Uhhh...just me.

Me: Okay. We also have our personal pan combo. It's a personal pan pizza, salad and a drink.

Caller: Umm...that's okay. I've got a coupon here for an $8.99 medium pizza...I'll just use it.

Spoiler Alert!

I like movies. A lot. In fact, somebody did one of those "how many of these movies have you seen" things on Facebook, and I had seen 169 out of 239. That's quite a few in my opinion.

However, there are a fistful of movies that I recommend NO ONE see. The one thing all these movies have in common is a downer ending. If I wanted a downer ending, I'd watch the news.

I will be giving some details about the plot of each movie, so if you ever plan on watching them (in spite of the fact I am telling you now - DON'T!!), then you may want to go ahead and leave this blog. If you want, you could just go here instead. If you don't mind some spoilers, read on!

1) Pay It Forward - Haley Joel Osment (the kid from the Sixth Sense) gets this great idea. Instead of "paying people back" for the bad things they do to you, he wants to "pay it forward" whenever someone does something nice. So he spends the whole movie trying to do this. He fixes his mother up with his school teacher. Eventually his plan makes the news, as people he has paid it forward to, pay it forward to others. Then, at the very end of the movie, he tries to protect a boy from a bully and gets stabbed and killed. I kid you not. Do not watch this movie.

2) My Girl - Girl befriends boy. Everybody is happy. Boy gets stung by lots of bees. Boy dies. Everyone is sad. Never watch this movie.

3) Bridge to Terabithia - Same movie as My Girl except the girl dies, and it's not bees, she drowns in a creek. This movie should be avoided.

4) Message In A Bottle - Kevin Costner and Buttercup from the Princess Bride can't decide if they want to be together. Finally Kevin decides he can commit to Buttercup. He gets in his boat to sail around the point to tell her he loves her and is lost at sea. We had someone recommend this movie for a date night...on our anniversary. Seriously. This movie should be on your personal "DON'T WATCH" list.

This last movie isn't the same type of movie, but it is so bad, I had to add it.

5) Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny - I've not actually seen all of this one. It's that bad. Do not be tempted to watch this movie just so see how bad it actually is. It's really that bad. Scream and run away if someone offers to loan you this movie.

Any recommendations for me to avoid?

This Post Is Not Filler

It's really not filler, I promise. With my friend Jeff telling everyone in the world that I'm not posting "filler", I have to make sure you all understand. This. Is. Not. Filler.

However, it is short.

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I've always been a dreamer. Not in the figurative "MLK - I have a dream" sense, but literally. I've always had lots of vivid dreams, and I remember a lot of them, often in great detail.

Last night I dreamed I had 88 subscribers to my blog! 88!!

I don't...but I dreamed that I did.

However, I appreciate all the subscribers I do have! Thanks Subscribers!

I might share some of my other dreams in a later post. I used to have this one dream over and over when I was a little kid. I was pretty interesting, in a strange, silly sort of way. I'll probably share that one first...

Have you ever had any strange or vivid dreams?

These Are A Few of My (Least) Favorite Things

I'm pretty easy going. But there are a couple of things that just drive...me...crazy.

1) Fingertappers
2) Newscasters


Fingertappers are people that tap a finger or two on the microphone to the rhythm of the beat while they are singing. It drives me crazy. CRAZY, I tell you!! I don't remember fingertappers being around in the '80s. I think Christina Aguilara started it all. Even if she didn't, I've decided to blame her.

When we watch American Idol, (I can't abbreviate it as AI, when people do that I always think of artificial intelligence) if the person is a fingertapper, they go right to the bottom of my list. I would rather watch Sanjaya than a fingertapper. No, really, I would.

If you happen to be a fingertapper, I don't dislike you personally. I don't even blame you. I blame Christina Aguilara.

Newscasters also drive me crazy. I'm talking about the ones that have all gone to the same school. I call them " left, right, up, down" newscasters. You know what I'm talking about, right? It goes like this:

"Tonight on 11 Alive News..." (look left)
"we'll meet a family with four cats..." (look right)
"but there's a problem..." (look up)
"they also have...a dog." (look down)

Of course, they're not really "looking" in those directions. Their eyes stay glued to the teleprompter, and while the rest of their head does the gyrations. Two other things finish the package. If they're female, they must speak in a very nasally voice. And, they must pause just before the last...few words.

I always wonder if they talk like that at home, too.

Husband:
"Honey, what's for dinner?"

Wife (in a nasally voice):
"We're going to have meatloaf..." (look left)
"as the main dish..." (look right)
"broccoli and potatoes for sides..." (look up)
"and apple pie...for dessert." (look down)


Watch a little AI (I did it!) and your local news and think of me.

Post 101

So, being the genius that I am, I created a post asking all my friends to send their friends to my blog, seeing as how it is so awesome and all.

And, since I planned SO far in advance and REALLY thought this through, the first thing most of them found was the blog asking my friends to send them there! What a clever person I am. Argghh!

So then I started thinking, "I've got to come up with something great...now! Or I'm going to miss the opportunity to impress all these new visitors." (Thanks to Dan for reminding of that.)

I logged in and...nothing. Blogger's block. I got nothing. Every idea I came up with even sounded stupid to me.

So I've just made a resolution to myself and to you, the reader. I've drawn a line in the sand that I will not cross. I promise not blog something unless I really feel it. I promise. Other than this one. Because this one doesn't count because I was "drawing the line" in this one. So it doesn't count, okay? But after this one...no more filler...after this one.

A Double Landmark!

(For those of you reading in Facebook, you can click here to read this in my actual blog.)

Today is a landmark day for me for two reasons:

1. This is my 100th blog post
   
2. Today is my 40th birthday

I could post some serious something about "now that I'm 40", but I already did that, and it wasn't serious at all. So I've decided to do something totally self-indulgent.

For those of you that are regular readers of my blog, as my birthday present, I have a little favor(s) to ask.

First, I would ask you to send an email to 10 people (at least) encouraging them to read my blog. (I hope that if you are reading my blog regularly, that you think it is, at least at times, worth reading. If so, then maybe, just maybe, this isn't too much to ask. Again, I realize that this is an absolutely shameless self-promotion wrapped around a hard little kernel of self-indulgence.)

Secondly, encourage them that if they find it mildly amusing, borderline insightful, somewhat infuriating, or at least not annoying, to subscribe! It's easy to do. Right at the top of the blog, just below the title section.

Look, I'll make this easy for you. Here's a sample email that you could cut-and-paste:

Hey (your friend's name goes here),

I just wanted to tell you about this fantastically incredible blog that I read without fail. It's called Aaroneous Findings, and it is awesome. At various times it (in alphabetical order) advises and alerts, bewilders and broadens, challenges and counsels, edifies and educates, encourages and informs, optimizes and super-sizes, uplifts and urges me to action whenever I read it. I find myself waiting in anticipation for each new post. You really should visit this blog immediately and subscribe.

Click HERE to visit the blog. Or, if you just want to go straight to subscribing, you can click HERE.

Thanks, and you won't regret it! It could possibly change your life!!!!

(Your name goes here)

Now, isn't that easy. Of, course, feel free to draft your own email.

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All kidding aside, (well, not really...kidding is seldom ever aside with me) I've really enjoyed writing this blog. I hope that you have enjoyed a post or two of the 100 that I've done. While I don't boast huge numbers of readers, my subscribership (that's a word, right?) has gradually grown over the months. It's really cool when someone leaves a comment or even mentions something to me in person that they read.

In reality, this particular post is something of a social experiment. How many people can you, "my readers", get to visit my blog, and better yet, subscribe? And, if my subscriber count spikes, how long will I retain the higher numbers? (Oh yeah...and it's shameless self-promotion.)

A 2nd Confession

Well, after my last blog, my Mom posted a comment and reminded me of a humorous story involving a previous confession of mine.

One night, about 1:00 AM, when I was 10, in the 4th grade I think, I went into my parents' bedroom and woke them.

"What's wrong?" my mother asked.

"I got a whipping at school!" I said, crying and sobbing.

You see, the standing rule in my traditional home was: you get a whipping at school, you get a whipping at home. So I was understandably a little worried.

"You did?" my dad asked, "Why?"

"I went to the restroom. While I was in there, some older boys were throwing wet toilet paper wads and yelling. Then they all left. When I came out of the bathroom, the teacher across the hall took me back to my room and told my teacher that I had been making a bunch of noise in the bathroom."

"What did you tell them?" my mom asked.

"I told them it wasn't me, but they wouldn't believe me. She gave me 3 swats."

By this time I was beside myself. I was undone. But now the tide had turned. My dad was actually on my side.

"What teacher was this, when did this happen?" he asked.

"Mrs. Linsceum...last year in the 3rd grade," I replied.

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Confession is good for the soul.

A Story (Confession)

Just so you know, my mom subscribes to this blog (Hi, Mom!), which is why the title of this post has the word confession in it. My mom thinks I am wonderful son, and I do try to be. Of course, no one is perfect, so now that I am fast approaching 40, there's something I have to come clean about.

The summer after my freshman year in college, my parents went out of town...twice...and I had a party...both times. Mom knew that I had some friends over. Several friends, actually. But what she didn't know is that we moved all the furniture out of the living room, set up my band's sound equipment and had a "party". When she got back after the second one, Mom found a beer cap and asked me if anyone had brought beer over. I think I mumbled something about Earl Hassell (he seemed like a good person to blame it on at the time) bringing some over, and changed the subject.

Sorry, Mom. I always meant to tell you, but how do you bring something like that up? "Hey Mom! Remember when you went out of town 20 years ago? I had a party."

I have an idea! How about I write a blog about it and post it on the internet for everyone to read?

Okay, now that my confessions and apologies are out of the way. I can tell the story that I wanted to tell.

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After the first party was over and we had put up the sound equipment, brought back in the living room furniture, and cleaned up the mess, I happened to look in the refrigerator in the game room. This fridge had my dad's beer in it. And by "had", I mean past tense. All of dad's beer was gone.

It is really hard to have a party without your parents finding out when people drink all of your dad's beer. Luckily, one of my friends, Keith, (yes, Mom, Keith McLeod) was able to go get some beer to replace it, and everything was okay.

When we decided to have the second party, I got smart. I stacked all my dad's beer up neatly in one corner of the fridge and put a note on it that said: DO NOT DRINK THIS BEER.

The next morning I went out to the fridge, opened the door, and couldn't help but laugh. There was one beer left. The one with the note on it. All the rest was gone.

Just For Fun

Below are a couple of my favorite movie quotes. I like some pretty random movies, so see how many of them you know:

1) One too many hits with the snake...

2) Uh...don't correct me, it sickens me.

3) It's not my fault I'm the biggest and the strongest...I don't even exercise.

4) See how the door was a little sticky...I'll get one of my guys to take a look at that.

5) Oh, I'm not with these fellas. I've got a pig over in the livestock competition, and I'm gonna win that blue ribbon.

6) Stand up Scout. Why? You're daddy's passing by.

7) We named the dog Indiana.

8) It's such a fine line between clever and...stupid.

9) Solo for the President!!

10) It's the same model the CIA used to fake the moon landing.

Like I said...random. I typed them the way I remembered them, so forgive me if I misquoted something.

To see the answers, select the area between here:

1) Aladdin
2) Mystery Men
3) Princess Bride
4) Galaxy Quest
5) That Thing You Do
6) To Kill A Mockingbird
7) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
8) This Is Spinal Tap
9) Annie!
10) Sneakers

and here.

Superbowl Lamentations

In case you are from Mars and didn't already know, tonight was Superbowl XLVIII. This is one of the few times since my wife and I got married that we didn't host a superbowl party. This year I had to work at the Hut, so Cheryl went to some friend's house to watch the game. I joined them a little after halftime.

For many years, we had a party for the youth group at our church. Below is a little video promo we did for the party one year. Hope you enjoy it.



If for some reason you can't see the embedded video, here's a link.

Starring: Chris Sheppard
Music by: Dave Brubeck Quartet/All-Star United
Directed by: Me
Filmed by: Me
Edited by: Me
Screenplay by: Me
Based upon an original full-length novel by: Me

Filmed on location at an undisclosed location. No animals were harmed in the making of this video, but a toilet was actually cleaned.