The Seven Commandments

I think I am going to try them again. The Seven Commandments, I mean.

Just as God gave Moses 10 Commandments, he gave Aaron (me, not Moses' brother) these Seven Commandments. These seven commandments (or laws, if you will) are something that I used before to lose weight. I didn't stick with it, though, so of course, what weight I had lost I gained back.

Without further ado, here they are:

The SEVEN COMMANDMENTS!!!

1. Thou shalt eateth modest portions - of seconds, thou shalt haveth noneth
2. Thou shalt NOT partake of the sweet drinks - sugar shall be as the dung of the camel to thee
3. Thou shalt NOT eateth sweets or desserteths
   
4. When the 9th hour has past, NO MORE shall passeth your lips until the cock crows at the rising of the sun
   
5. Fast Food shall be far from thy mouth, as the East is from the West
6. Thou shalt eateth healthy snacks, but thou shalt NOT grazeth
7. Honor the Sabbath and keepeth it holy by eatingeth whatever you want
   

Sounds easy, right? Hard-e-har-har.

Losing weight has always been difficult for me. I have a great metabolism...if you are trying to survive a nuclear winter.

My ultimate plan is to lose 100+ pounds, write a book about it, get rich, then maintain my new figure with expensive surgeries and highly paid personal trainers.

But seriously...I've put it out here on the entire WWW for everyone (both of you) to read, so I have a high degree of accountability. Maybe this will be a subject I blog on periodically.

Well better go. I need a snack!