HFMD -- Doesn't sound familiar? Read on...

Hand, Foot, and Mouth Disease (or HFMD) is a common childhood illness. This is not to be confused with Foot-and-mouth or Hoof-and-mouth disease that effects certain livestock. It is, however, something my son gave me.

Yeah!!

To the right is not a picture of my hand. But it could be. Yep, that's right. Fun blisters all over my hands, feet, and the back of my throat are my main symptom.

They don't itch and as long as they aren't touched, they don't hurt. Good thing that they're not on a part of my body that I have to use, for example, to write something...or maybe...walk across the room...open a door...dry off after a shower...swallow...you get the picture.

It's caused by a virus that usually runs its course in 3 to 7 days (depending on which website you use to self-diagnose). I'm about 2 days into it (and that's being generous), and it's not much fun.


Here are ten things I've done that are not much fun, but ARE more fun than having HFMD:

10. Gotten stitches.
9. Change a poopy-diarrhea diaper.
8. Stuck a screw gun into the fatty part of my hand between my thumb and first finger.
7. Marched in a 5 mile parade wearing shoes that were one size too small.
6. Given blood.
5. Gone shopping on Christmas Eve in a large mall in Arlington, Texas.
4. Gone shopping the day after Christmas in a large mall in Dallas, Texas.
3. Inoculated goats.
2. Cleaned out a septic tank.
1. Created a slide-show presentation about sexually transmitted skin diseases for the dermatologist that I worked for.

If you would like, feel free to list something you have done that was not much fun in a comment. If I have also done this thing that you list (or have a good feel for how much fun it would be), then I will reply and let you know if it was indeed more fun than having HFMD.

A Manifesto for Church

Yeah!! I've been tagged!! My first time ever.

I've been tagged by Jeff to write about what I think a good church should look like. Here are the rules, according to Barry, who started this thing:

Rules:
1. Post to your blog on the subject "A Manifesto for Church", outlining your thoughts on what an ideal church would/should be like. Posts can be as detailed or as short as you like.
2. Include a copy of these rules.
4. Put a link to your post in the comments to this post.
5. Tag at least 4 other people.
6. What happened to rule 3?
3. Ah, here it is.


So here goes...if only it was as simple to do as it is to cut out of an online Bible and paste into a blog...

Matthew 22:34 - 40 (NIV):

Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question:

"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."

My experience in "churches" is limited. After becoming a Christian, I bounced around between a few different churches while in college. Then I attended a church in central Texas for several years, but it was a LOOOOONG way from where I was attending college, so I never really had a sense of family there. After college, I settled in East Texas and attended the same church for 12+ years. I've since moved to Atlanta, and my wife and I have now been attending our current church for a 1 1/2.

One thing was consistent in most of the churches...they all worked really hard at the first half of the scripture above...loving God. But, I would say that most of them were less "successful" in the second part, loving their neighbor.

"And the second is like it" - you mean that loving my neighbor is like loving God? Wow!

I know this is Theology 101, but if we can't do this, how can we have a healthy "church" at all? We can have great programs, good organization, fantastic preaching, a great worship team, and even great worship...but I seem to remember something about a clanging gong and clashing cymbal...or was that a smashing gong and crashing cymbal...or maybe it was...you get the picture.

----------------

Now I am in a pickle. I am VERY new to this blogging thing, and basically Jeff is my only blog friend. He tagged me, so I don't have anyone to tag back! So I am going to ask Jeff to PLEASE tag a couple of people from my comments, if he has a few more he wants to tag.

Hooking Up Words and Phrases and Clauses

You know, there are just certain phrases people use that drive me crazy. I don't know why. I am sure it's me, not them. And, I just want to say up front, if you use these phrases, please don't hate me. I use them myself sometimes, and I don't hate me.

Without further ado:

1. "...take it to the next level..." - the only thing I want to take to the next level is Donkey Kong. Why is everything always about levels? Don't we ever just want to "improve"? There are so many better ways to say that something is getting better without resorting to this phrase. Please, don't use this phrase, or I may have to take my ranting "to the next level".


2. "...get on the same page..." - there's nothing intrinsically bad with this phrase. It just bugs me. Maybe because at times there is the connotation that "Hey, I'm on the right page, why don't you get on the same page as me?" I guess it is just pride yelling.


3. "...that's a __________ question." - This phrase is fine if the blank is filled with words like: stupid, brilliant, ignorant, redundant, or tactless. But don't put someone's name in the blank! Please just say, "That's a question for ___________".
   

Rambling to a Point

It's actually been the better part of a week since I've blogged. I really started thinking about why that is. I've decided it just overall laziness. In regards to most things, I tend toward laziness.

I would love to be a virtuoso musician...but not quite enough to practice. I think being a much-read blogger would be neat-o...and would take a lot of thought and time on the PC. It would rock to have abs of steel...but that takes discipline and time in the gym. Winning the next Pulitzer prize would rock...but books don't write themselves.

If you read my "About Me" or my profile, you'll see that I say:

My interests range from movies to construction, from comic books to religion, and from relationships to technology.

I find people to be very interesting.

People are about that the only thing that holds my attention for very long. I do love to read, but even that comes back to people, though they may be fictitious.

I guess that explains why I was a pastor for a dozen years or more. I didn't do it for the fun trips, because I loved playing football with the youth, or the money (haha!), I did it because it was about relationship. Growing up, everyone always came to my house. My house was where everyone got together. As a kid, my friends usually spent the night at my house, and I was the one that usually threw the plans together when groups of us would go out.

"Religion" as a whole has been boring to me for several years. However, Jesus as a person (not to mention Saviour), and my relationship with Him still fascinates me. My pastor finished a series a couple of weeks ago about relationship. One of the main points of his last message was cautioning us to be wary, and to not let our relationship with Jesus devolve into religion.

He said something along this line:

I have a one year devotional Bible that I started this year...it's May 11th...and I am on January 3rd...and I'm okay with that. Because the health of my relationship with Jesus is not determined by whether or not I do my "daily reading".

(Hopefully I didn't put words in his mouth, but that's what I brought away.)

You mean I don't have to jump through a series of religious hoops for Jesus to love me? So when the Bible says that God is love, it means it? Wow!

It's funny...I had spent a pretty good amount of time beating myself up because I didn't conform to the "religious standards" of the type of church that I attended. And here is my pastor telling me that he's like me! Double wow!! I've never been the most disciplined in prayer, or Bible reading. I tend to say goofy, un-spiritual things. I don't always think to pray first in every situation. And I don't witness to every person I meet. What a failure!

Am I saying that a real spiritual walk with Christ requires no discipline? Uh...no. And for those that have a very "disciplined" Christian walk, more power to you! However, I will say that I've met some pretty mean Christians that had a great "devotional life". My friend Jeff made that his second point in his blog about "Why Are Christians Mean?" a few days back.

All cynicism aside, I feel like the discipline required to eat right and lose 100 lbs is, to me, a different type of discipline than what is required to walk in a healthy relationship with someone. Whether that person is your spouse, friend, co-workers, family member, or Jesus. I don't really know how to quantify the differences and to put words to the intangibles that are involved in relationships, but in my heart, there is a difference.

I guess the one is all about my actions, the other is all about my heart.

I may have to post on this again...when I know better what I am trying to say...and when I'm not feeling quite as lazy.

;)

American Idol (aka I told you so!)

Well, Season 7 is all over and David Cook reigns supreme. I told you so. I predicted it weeks ago. Last night when all the judged where gushing Archuleta from their eyes, I stood by my prediction.

Then, as the day went on, I knew my prediction was going to come to pass. Every person I talked to, heard on the radio, or saw on televesion said the same thing:

"I like David Cook better, but I think Archuleta is going to win."

It didn't take me long to see the prevalence of that sentiment. Apparently, 50-something% of the people that voted felt the same way. They liked Cook better, and they voted Cook.

And I for one, am glad!

Put Your DuckBack On

I was reading my friend's recent post about Christian community, and his 1st point (of 4) , is "You are going to be hurt". Of course, he's absolutely right. I don't think I've ever had a relationship (that was more than just an acquaintance) where I didn't get hurt. And I know that I have personally hurt most people I know at one time or another.




I just want to stop for a minute and say that this post is not a "I have the answer!" post, but instead more of a "This is I how I deal with it!" post.






In college, at one point I had 5 roommates. That's right, 6 single, barely post-teen boys living in one house. Did we hurt each other? Absolutely. We had a phrase we used to say to each other whenever one of us would get on the other's nerves.

Put on your duckback.

What does that mean exactly? It means just what it sounds like. Let whatever it is that the person said or did run off of your back like "water off of a duck's back". Wow! We were pretty clever, huh?

But seriously. the Chuck Swindoll's quasi-famous quote about life being 10% what happens to us, and 90% about our attitude is really true. People will hurt us, people will do things that aren't fair, (and often the circumstances of life itself) but our reaction and attitude toward them is ultimately what determines what effect it has on us. I think the phrase "I take offense to that!" is actual much more correct than "You offended me!" Many times our offenses are something we own and keep near and dear to our hearts.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words really hurt me.

Do I walk in un-offendable perfection? No. Do I still catch myself being offended at times. Honestly, not very often, but occasionally. But when I do, I just say to myself, "Okay, put on your duckback."

So, the next time someone you know (or don't know) does something to offend you, just give me call and say, "Aaron, hand me the duckback!"

Sometimes People Amaze Me...

...with how incredibly stupid they can be.

I was joking with a friend that I was going to have a label/category called "stupidness", because I find myself starting stories with the phrase "D'you know what's really stupid?" Well, what do you know...I've only been a blogger a couple of days and I already have a blog with the label/category of stupidness. Stupidness follows below:

Today a friend of mine told me of a front page news article he saw on Yahoo! news. At first I thought he was joking, but he wasn't. If you doubt the existence of the story after you read it, you can find the original article here. And now, for your reading enjoyment, here is the article in its entirety.

MILLBURY, Ohio - Parents have complained to a northwest Ohio school board that a chaperone sealed students in their hotel rooms with duct tape during a high school choir field trip.

At a heated meeting Monday, Michelle Mata told the Lake Local school board in Millbury that the tactic panicked her son during a recent weekend trip to Chicago.

Sylvia Keeler said she may file charges. Her son, Mark Hummel, said he worried he could be trapped during a fire.

School board president Timothy Krugh (kroo) told parents the tape was meant to keep students safe.

Schools Superintendent Jim Witt said the tape would show if students violated curfew but wouldn't have kept them from escaping in an emergency.

What?!??!

Are you kidding me? Maybe they should be required to put a sign on the inside of the hotel room door that says "In case of fire, open door and leave."

This must be some kinda duct tape. We should be building buildings out of this duct tape. Apparently McGiver has nothing on this chaperone. Apparently he can permanently seal a door with duct tape.

Seriously.

Superheroes and the American Psyche

Okay, honestly, the title was just to sound pretentious and possibly make you want to read the post.

This is really just a space to give a little explanation about my profile "photo" for the hundreds of you reading this that might not know me personally. The image on my profile, as well as the image in this blog, is of a comic book superhero known as "The Tick". I personally believe he is one of the most clever creations I have ever had the gut-busting pleasure of reading/watching.

Originating as a comic, The Tick also made the transition to the small screen. First, as an animated series, then as a live action prime-time show. The cartoon is absolutely hilarious. I've never seen an episode (and I've seen most of them) that I didn't just love. The live action show on the other hand...not so much.

They injected a lot of sexual innuendo, blah blah blah, and really took away the naivety and simpleness of the character. Put it this way, Patrick Warburton played The Tick, who happens to be an actor that I love (go Kronk!), and I still didn't like it.

Not only do you have The Tick, who is nigh-invulnerable but not too bright, you have a series of pun/parody heroes/villains for him to fight along/battle. Some examples are:

• Arthur - his sidekick, who is a moth, but is constantly being mistaken for a bunny
• Die Fledermaus - a narcissistic version of Batman
• American Maid = Wonder Woman...and one of the few heroes that is actually competent
• Sewer Urchin - lives in the sewer, stinks, sounds like Rainman...need I say more?
• Venus & Milo - villains; she is a 'love goddess' that makes men fall in love with her, he is a wimpy scientist type whose main weapon makes people's arms fall off
• Chairface Chippendale - a parody of a number of Batman villains; and his head really looks like a chair
• The Human Ton and Handy - The Human Ton is kind of a parody of the Marvel villain known as the Blob, only not as bright; Handy is a hand puppet that the Human Ton wears that constantly spouts famous quotes and then yells "Read a book!!" when no one knows what he means
• Brainchild (aka Charles) - The Tick's arch-nemesis...at least according to Charles...according to the Tick, he's just a freaky kid with a glass head
• Omnipitus - Galactus rip-off...but one hilarious episode
  

Reading back over this list, the little bit that I wrote doesn't do justice to the actual show. I don't know that it is available on television at this time, but the first couple of seasons (of the cartoon) are available on DVD. If you go to the link I put above, there is a great trailer you can watch, along with some video clips and artwork.

Let me throw a couple of "Tickisms" at you to help sweeten the pot. The Tick is famous for standing up and declaring something like along these lines:

"Well, once again my friend, we find that science is a two-headed beast. One head is nice, it gives us aspirin and other modern conveniences,...but the other head of science is bad! Oh beware the other head of science, Arthur, it bites!"

"Destiny's powerful hand has made the bed of my future and it's up to me to lie in it. I am destined to be a superhero, to right wrongs and pound two-fisted justice into the hearts of evil-doers everywhere. You don't fight destiny, no sir! And you don't eat crackers in the bed of your future or you get all...scratchy."

"You know Arthur, when you spend two months riding around on a really big man, you start to learn a few things about yourself. You learn that it is a really great thing to stay on Earth and live in a place that has no arms or legs of its own. And most importantly, Arthur, you learn how to close you eyes and tell yourself that this just isn't happening to me."

Hope you check it out sometime and have a laugh.

2nd Post...in one day!!

Well, I am still tinkering with the layout, etc.

For fun, though, I thought I would give a random sampling from the iPod Nano I share with my wife. Cool, huh? Of the list, 7 are my contributions, 3 are hers...any guesses?

• I still Believe - The Call (this was covered on the Lost Boys soundtrack, just FYI)
• Sick of Will - Grammatrain (I was very sad when I learned they broke up)
• Sometimes - King's X (their first 4 albums are 4 of my favorite rock albums)
• Save Me - Queen
• Reborn - Rebecca St. James
• Breakfast At Timpani's - Relient K (funniest Christian band ever)
• We Live - Superchick (I love this song)
• Eye Conqueror - Third Eye Blind (A Knight's Tale Soundtrack)
• Gospel Machine Gun - The Vanished (formerly Seven Channels...you know I was their first bass player, right?)
• It Takes Two - Zac Efron (Hairspray: Soundtrack to the Motion Picture)

What are you listening to right now? (Maybe this will get my first comment!)

My Very First Blog (here)

I've resisted blogging.

Mostly because I know by nature I am lazy, and to actually put your thoughts down on e-paper takes effort. I can sit and think my own thoughts in my recliner while watching Dirty Jobs, and it is no effort at all.

But a friend of mine started blogging a while back, and as I read his, I thought, "You know, I ought to do that."

So I figured, why not try it. The worst that could happen is I could type something that would be considered terroristic in nature, Homeland Security could storm my house and take me away, and I never see my family again. But what are the odds of that happening? Gotta be 2 - 1, right?

So here we are, a few paragraphs into my first post, and I've yet to say anything life-changing, hilarious, scandalous, terroristict (except that my post says "Homeland Security" in it...that might get me flagged), or really even that interesting. But, hey, it's my first post!!

I can only go up from here!